mood: productive
music: elton john - rocketman


i know, i know. i am fully aware of the fact that there are roughly 7 trillion other exceedingly important things which i should be thinking about. i have this exceptionally complicated and powerful machine dedicated to constant acquisition of new knowledge, sythesizing old, and weaving through some of the most dense, complex, and paradoxical intricasies of the physical and ethereal universe.

and all i can do is think doilies, dresses, and tea parties.

i am so restless. i am so ready to make this happen, to leap, as it were. after a long and difficult sojurn down in the canyon, i have fought and scraped my way back to the edge of the plateau and i am so prepared to take this dive. but i am in time out. the powers that be have conspired to bring events to pass which leave me in this purgatory-esque state where i can only revel in suppositions about what it will be like once i am finally given clearance to fly.

i would be remiss if i didn't admit that this period of incubation was not for the best. there were old, old wounds -- some still ripe with grief -- which needed to be dealt with: opened, aired, tended to, and ultimately released. and there's no doubt that the process is not quite finished just yet. i also have the sneaking suspicion that this isn't just about me. on the other end of the spectrum, there exists another heart that i suspect is making excellent use of this time for healing. their preparation for my leap of faith is just as important -- if not moreso -- than my own.

and once both parties are fully ready . . . my suspension is lifted.
i get out of time out
i take to flight
and with the right amount of honesty, eloquence, love, luck, and faith
that 'i' turns into 'we'





you know, i used to believe that there were two kinds of people in the world: those who broke hearts, and those who got their hearts broken. [i was a card-carrying member of the latter category] but now i see . . . such a division is purely imaginary. we all -- including myself, as i have learned -- possess the power . . . and the liability . . . of being able to experience both.

at the same time, we are all capable of undoing damage -- of healing.
ourselves.
and others.