mood: i hope they vote that jodi character off of road rules
music: jamie cullum - frontin'
days till camp: 4
days till chitown: 13
the past few days have been great. shopping with vasta and abby was good fun and we did an amazing job of making him look hot if i do say so myself. and i do. spent a day down at nccj doing some office work to get ready for camp. and even though the 3 hours of phonecalls to campers/voicemail/parents that was included was somewhat less than desirable, i am still SO excited. camp is going to be brilliant. and i'm finally one of the importan staff. and it only took 3 years.
spent some quality FREE movie time with mayor daub on wednesday and thursday. thank God for his deadend job at amc!
napoleon dynamite
the bourne identity
the village (woot for private screenings)
*note - if you want to have a worthwhile life you will go see these movies
hit up grisanti's with the usuals last night. stupid mayor daub and needing to sleep. he only gets a summer townhouse! that was good, clean, fun. vasta ditched after dinner to go see the village with sinley, but all is forgiven for he will now have a worthwhile life. see above. back at the meister's, coop-a-loop was pissy about hand gestures and mother jan told us mysterious tales of her travels to las vegas and atlantas. i learned that on vacation, one should stash the husbands where they can't hurt anyone or anything and all i need to get over my newly discovered fear of flying is booze. i am a believer. the rest of the night cultivated some good girl talk and semi-nudity. (that veet is good stuff, i tell you!)
today i was up at 9:00 (?!) to hit the joslyn with sammie, kk, sean, and ray. it was my first time there. i found it...interesting at best. i bet i just need to see the rest of it. we cut out early to go down to the old market and get harassed by the socialist party and grab some mexican food. heard that kk and sammie are planning to go back to minneapolis to see chang before the end of the summer. i would really really like to go as well, but i think they're going to go while i'm at camp. ah well. but it does force me to realize how final my leaving is. no thanksgving, no fall break, no christmas break, no summer. rinse and repeat. i don't know when i'll be back to omaha, but it won't be for a long time. so these last hurrahs are REALLY the last ones, and i'm trying to get in as many as possible and trying to enjoy them as much as possible.
but i digress. after some good eats ($70 worth) and a bathroom bonding experience, we stopped by homer's then i proceeded to resist the urge to go into the handbag and shoe store FOR THE SECOND TIME TODAY. i really deserve a plaque for my valiance. i mean, seriously, all they sold were handbags and shoes - it was a store i was born to shop in! but i let it go...for now.
i couldn't bring myself to accompany sammie to the oakview old navy, so i'm a little bored. i'm interested to see if kk and mayor daub will call when they're done outing the van halen show down at the civic. and if we all hit the zoo tomorrow. we shall see. but damnit, you bitches better believe we're gonna ride the damn train if we go!
(still looking for a witty ending line, but for now, you get the usual)
this cannot be denied. many have tried. and have been served.
that is all...thank you.
Saturday, July 31, 2004
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
mood: sleepy?
music: travis - the invisible band
days till camp: 9
days till chi town: 18
*last night, mayor daub definitely farted on kk's face... just so you know.
sean meister looked like he really enjoyed his faery wings, light up crown, sceptor, earings, princess tattoos and feather boa. if he turns out to be a drag queen... well... let's just say i don't think we'll be too surprised.
most other things went well at the party. MOST. let's just say i'm struggling. trying to do the stand up thing and be the bigger person and all that bullshit. but people make it hard. well, not so much "people" as one person. i only carry on this civil attitude for the sake of a friend (yeah i know, i'm doing something for the sake of someone else). i just hope that friend realizes appreciates it...
it was good to spend quality time with sam vasta and abby. and shopping with them tomorrow is going to be fantastic. strange how i was at this party all night, but had the most fun when we left and went to IHOP at midnight (not that the princess party wasn't a good time). it's truly the random, off the wall, "little," times that i have with people that mean the most to me. i think i'll miss those when i leave. yeah, miss something in omaha.
it was bound to happen sooner or later.
that is all...thank you.
music: travis - the invisible band
days till camp: 9
days till chi town: 18
*last night, mayor daub definitely farted on kk's face... just so you know.
sean meister looked like he really enjoyed his faery wings, light up crown, sceptor, earings, princess tattoos and feather boa. if he turns out to be a drag queen... well... let's just say i don't think we'll be too surprised.
most other things went well at the party. MOST. let's just say i'm struggling. trying to do the stand up thing and be the bigger person and all that bullshit. but people make it hard. well, not so much "people" as one person. i only carry on this civil attitude for the sake of a friend (yeah i know, i'm doing something for the sake of someone else). i just hope that friend realizes appreciates it...
it was good to spend quality time with sam vasta and abby. and shopping with them tomorrow is going to be fantastic. strange how i was at this party all night, but had the most fun when we left and went to IHOP at midnight (not that the princess party wasn't a good time). it's truly the random, off the wall, "little," times that i have with people that mean the most to me. i think i'll miss those when i leave. yeah, miss something in omaha.
it was bound to happen sooner or later.
that is all...thank you.
Monday, July 26, 2004
mood: bleh
music: mase - welcome back
i need a new end line for my posts. if you have any ideas that aren't stupid (bill.) then you should post a comment.
also, i saw rowings at ace hardware the other day. he leaves in one week. caffeine dreams is friday night. if we're going to go through with any plans, we better get on our shit.
with regards to the last post, it's good to know that you're still reading. i just got curious when i didn't see any more commenting recently. oh and bill, while i'm glad to know that you're still a douche nozzle, i was a little disappointed in your comment, as it was exactly what i expected. step up your game a bit.
watched some classic dave chappel. for the record:
"i'm rick james, bitch."
never challenge prince to a game of basketball
charlie murphy is incredibly underappreciated
i've been exploring the world of direct tv lately. it is truly fascinating. i can watch daria (!) and a different world, and episodes of wheel of fortune from 1979! now if that isn't exciting, i don't know what is. i can play games (like a version of bejeweled with assorted bugs instead of jewels) and i can even check my biorhythm - which appears to be the predictor of my physical, inspirational, emotional and intellectual statuses throughout the month. there are musical channels galore...including one with only showtunes. nathan, ian, it is our dream come true! and the porn...so much porn. there is no room for playing porn, porn, Jesus. one can only play porn, porn, porn (it's too bad i detest that stuff, otherwise i'd be in heaven). and all from the comfort of my seat in front of my own 60 inch televsion. though i must admit that biorhythm thing is a little creepy...
the pretty pretty pretty princess party is tomorrow, er...tonight. i am hella excited. and you bitches better believe that i'm going to wear my prom dress! his majesty is going to flip shit...and like it. maybe we can still get ray's penis into his mouth. or at least a solid tea bagging. aaron nohrenberg would be proud.
this cannot be denied. many have tried. and have been served.
that is all...thank you.
music: mase - welcome back
i need a new end line for my posts. if you have any ideas that aren't stupid (bill.) then you should post a comment.
also, i saw rowings at ace hardware the other day. he leaves in one week. caffeine dreams is friday night. if we're going to go through with any plans, we better get on our shit.
with regards to the last post, it's good to know that you're still reading. i just got curious when i didn't see any more commenting recently. oh and bill, while i'm glad to know that you're still a douche nozzle, i was a little disappointed in your comment, as it was exactly what i expected. step up your game a bit.
watched some classic dave chappel. for the record:
"i'm rick james, bitch."
never challenge prince to a game of basketball
charlie murphy is incredibly underappreciated
i've been exploring the world of direct tv lately. it is truly fascinating. i can watch daria (!) and a different world, and episodes of wheel of fortune from 1979! now if that isn't exciting, i don't know what is. i can play games (like a version of bejeweled with assorted bugs instead of jewels) and i can even check my biorhythm - which appears to be the predictor of my physical, inspirational, emotional and intellectual statuses throughout the month. there are musical channels galore...including one with only showtunes. nathan, ian, it is our dream come true! and the porn...so much porn. there is no room for playing porn, porn, Jesus. one can only play porn, porn, porn (it's too bad i detest that stuff, otherwise i'd be in heaven). and all from the comfort of my seat in front of my own 60 inch televsion. though i must admit that biorhythm thing is a little creepy...
the pretty pretty pretty princess party is tomorrow, er...tonight. i am hella excited. and you bitches better believe that i'm going to wear my prom dress! his majesty is going to flip shit...and like it. maybe we can still get ray's penis into his mouth. or at least a solid tea bagging. aaron nohrenberg would be proud.
this cannot be denied. many have tried. and have been served.
that is all...thank you.
Saturday, July 24, 2004
Thursday, July 22, 2004
mood: relief (maybe...)
music: n.e.r.d. - maybe
tonight was a great success. drama free and full of old friends. just the way i like it. but such enjoyable times yet again failed to keep my overactive and overanalytical mind from churning over yet another of life's assorted mysteries.
this early morning's insight - or more appropriately, the lack thereof - arrives thanks to my attempts to seek out a balance between happiness and contentment, and insecurity, fear, and doubt. after some examining of my most recent action(s)/reaction(s) it seems as though i follow a patttern with regards to my wacky outlook on life. i (more frequently now than ever) find myself in a good place in life - a place where i am able to appreciate all that surrounds me to the point where such nondescript and intangible entities (such as happiness) seem fairly palpable. but then my "conciousness" alerts me to some problem - generally inconsequential - that i dwell on. this one issue becomes all consuming - growing so swiftly and fiercely in its severity (or at least the false severity that i begin to presume it posesses) that it soon dwarfs the positivity of all the other things which originally comprised my joy.
this focus naturally spirals into bouts of moodiness, depression, and nervousness (fucking panic attacks). and there i find myself, once again wrenched from happiness and delivered into the ever loving arms of that which can most likely be classified as teen angst. and all by my own hand, no less.
so i pose the question: how does one create a balance between happiness and insecurity?
i don't know. what i do know is that this balance must be a healthier alternative to the circles in which i'm running myself. it seems logical that one must posess the ability to recongnize a fault or other negative issue and put it in its propper place where it can be assessed and worked on. at this juncture, i must sadly recognize that i don't posess this ability. and even my dwelling on this fact could quickly become an obscenely troublesome obsession. i'm not quite sure where in myself to search for this quality, and that is what has become ultimately bothersome; i don't know how to seek a solution.
which consequently means that the only remaining option is to let go. and we all know how good i am at that. but this time i am inclined to think that this is worth a shot.
even if it is a long shot in the dark.
very long.
very dark.
pitch black.
that is all...thank you.
music: n.e.r.d. - maybe
tonight was a great success. drama free and full of old friends. just the way i like it. but such enjoyable times yet again failed to keep my overactive and overanalytical mind from churning over yet another of life's assorted mysteries.
this early morning's insight - or more appropriately, the lack thereof - arrives thanks to my attempts to seek out a balance between happiness and contentment, and insecurity, fear, and doubt. after some examining of my most recent action(s)/reaction(s) it seems as though i follow a patttern with regards to my wacky outlook on life. i (more frequently now than ever) find myself in a good place in life - a place where i am able to appreciate all that surrounds me to the point where such nondescript and intangible entities (such as happiness) seem fairly palpable. but then my "conciousness" alerts me to some problem - generally inconsequential - that i dwell on. this one issue becomes all consuming - growing so swiftly and fiercely in its severity (or at least the false severity that i begin to presume it posesses) that it soon dwarfs the positivity of all the other things which originally comprised my joy.
this focus naturally spirals into bouts of moodiness, depression, and nervousness (fucking panic attacks). and there i find myself, once again wrenched from happiness and delivered into the ever loving arms of that which can most likely be classified as teen angst. and all by my own hand, no less.
so i pose the question: how does one create a balance between happiness and insecurity?
i don't know. what i do know is that this balance must be a healthier alternative to the circles in which i'm running myself. it seems logical that one must posess the ability to recongnize a fault or other negative issue and put it in its propper place where it can be assessed and worked on. at this juncture, i must sadly recognize that i don't posess this ability. and even my dwelling on this fact could quickly become an obscenely troublesome obsession. i'm not quite sure where in myself to search for this quality, and that is what has become ultimately bothersome; i don't know how to seek a solution.
which consequently means that the only remaining option is to let go. and we all know how good i am at that. but this time i am inclined to think that this is worth a shot.
even if it is a long shot in the dark.
very long.
very dark.
pitch black.
that is all...thank you.
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
mood: excited
music: modest mouse - float on
going out tonight with a bunch of old high school amigos. i'm anxious to see how this psych experiment is going to play out. you know how you have different groups of friends and you can't mix them or bad things happen...like double homicides? well, that's exactly what we're all doing tonight. not the double homicides...although...
wish me luck! i'm going to need it.
this cannot be denied. many have tried. and have been served.
that is all...thank you.
music: modest mouse - float on
going out tonight with a bunch of old high school amigos. i'm anxious to see how this psych experiment is going to play out. you know how you have different groups of friends and you can't mix them or bad things happen...like double homicides? well, that's exactly what we're all doing tonight. not the double homicides...although...
wish me luck! i'm going to need it.
this cannot be denied. many have tried. and have been served.
that is all...thank you.
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
mood: content
music: franz ferdinand - take me out
i learned to let go. things will almost never go the way you plan them, so there's no need to waste the time. and being unpredictable and adventurous is truly what it's all about. and through everything i just kept hearing lisa loeb's wishing heart.
music: franz ferdinand - take me out
i learned to let go. things will almost never go the way you plan them, so there's no need to waste the time. and being unpredictable and adventurous is truly what it's all about. and through everything i just kept hearing lisa loeb's wishing heart.
and it's not always candy spun from head to heart
and it's not always meant to be
and it's not always up to me...
pther than that, i will just say that too many days have gone by to recount all the details. if you're really itching to know, you can always ask. then we can play hangman. it's the mutha fuckin greatest. but for know, you should know...
i am SO glad that i have free nights (starting at 7 - woot!) and weekends on my cell
spontenaity really is the key to happiness
new people are so much fun
some boys are piece of shit, cum-gobbling, douche nozzle, rim jobs - other boys are amazing!
i really do have some of the greatest friends in the world...when we're not feuding!
it's good to get shit-faced three out of four days of the weekend once in a while
burger king is the ultimate breakfast treat after a night of intense inebriation
the more you plan something out, the more it won't go according to plan
sometimes your friends will really fuck up your well-made plans
direct tv is awesome because i can now watch daria every single night
drunken hookups are clearly closer in my future than i thought - how exciting - rar
yeager bombs are delicious
my southern accent that comes on when i drink is totally hot
i am so in love with life.
this cannot be denied. many have tried. and have been served.
that is all...thank you.
Friday, July 16, 2004
mood: drrrrrrrrunk! and scheming
music: gavin degraw - i don't wanna be
holy shit. i wish blogger would stop changing. especially after i come home from a night of adult bevarages. it really throws me off.
okay, so tonight was a good night. i was supposed to hang out with some of my counselor people but those plans fell through and i ended up going to mike mcelroy's party. i think i did 6 shots of coconut rum. only i did it out my signature shot glass, which many of you know is a double shot glass. so i guess that means i did about 12 shots. and i had a smirnoff bitch beer. but somehow i'm not ALL that drunk. the coconut rum is weaker than regular shots. ah well, i am still in very high spirits.
i must mention that it was great to see adam (schultz - of maryville) again. what a badass boy! and so adorable. we really bonded tonight (though we would have bonded more if he was as indisposed as i). i think we exchanged numbers, but that's a bit blurry at this juncture. maybe i'll call him. if nothing else, we will definitely be hanging out tomorrow at the mary kay after party. (grrr...got to get some of that vodka if all is to go as planned, sam!)
i'm worried about what sam and mike are doing at this point (ewww) and REALLY looking forward to tomorrow. sam knows why. let's just say we're scheming. which you know means we're up to no good. and that's how you like it.
biatches.
oh, and just for the record, i think i'm pretty badass for being able to type so well while inebriated. i just hope most of it is coherent. in any event, sam will understand all of it. woot!
this cannot be denied. many have tried. and have been served.
that is all...thank you.
music: gavin degraw - i don't wanna be
holy shit. i wish blogger would stop changing. especially after i come home from a night of adult bevarages. it really throws me off.
okay, so tonight was a good night. i was supposed to hang out with some of my counselor people but those plans fell through and i ended up going to mike mcelroy's party. i think i did 6 shots of coconut rum. only i did it out my signature shot glass, which many of you know is a double shot glass. so i guess that means i did about 12 shots. and i had a smirnoff bitch beer. but somehow i'm not ALL that drunk. the coconut rum is weaker than regular shots. ah well, i am still in very high spirits.
i must mention that it was great to see adam (schultz - of maryville) again. what a badass boy! and so adorable. we really bonded tonight (though we would have bonded more if he was as indisposed as i). i think we exchanged numbers, but that's a bit blurry at this juncture. maybe i'll call him. if nothing else, we will definitely be hanging out tomorrow at the mary kay after party. (grrr...got to get some of that vodka if all is to go as planned, sam!)
i'm worried about what sam and mike are doing at this point (ewww) and REALLY looking forward to tomorrow. sam knows why. let's just say we're scheming. which you know means we're up to no good. and that's how you like it.
biatches.
oh, and just for the record, i think i'm pretty badass for being able to type so well while inebriated. i just hope most of it is coherent. in any event, sam will understand all of it. woot!
this cannot be denied. many have tried. and have been served.
that is all...thank you.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
mood: crabby
music: stacie orrico - there's gotta be more to life (yeah, wtf?!? i know)
the internet is crabby. that makes me crabby.
an unsuccessful night of trying to go out. plans fell through to go boozing at a friend of kk's place. though garret is convinced that they ditched the two of us. ah well. life goes on. word on the street was that it was being postponed until tomorrow night, but mayor daub has to work at 8 am on friday and i'm supposed to hang out with some of my fellow camp counselors so i think i'll have to miss the one. must admit, would have been nice to feel out the social scene with the folks from the playhouse. it would have been ray with the kk, mike trying desperately to get on sam and myself and mayor daub getting drunk, being hilarious, and probably insulting the other people there. but we would have thought it funny. and let's face it - that's all that matters.
i spent a couple of hours at my old high school's (in texas) website and the sites of the other 2 high schools in the city. what a bad idea. seeing all the pictures and reading all the stories about these people that used to be my best friends - people that i grew up with ... oh, it was heartbreaking. i cried a little, just longing for what my life could have been if i had stayed. i miss wichita SO much. and i miss those beautifully, wonderfully, sincere and honest people. i know people shit on texas and texans quite a bit and i will be the first to admit that they deserve some of it, but those are (to this day) some of the best people i've ever met. certainly better than the vast majority of the folks i have come across here. need i give the thumbs up? you know what i mean...
i can't possibly do my feelings justice. i don't know what it is, this omaha business has just been an incredibly difficult time in my life. i can't fully illustrate how negative these 3 years have been. granted, some parts have been great. and there are definitely experiences that i wouldn't trade for the world ... but ... sigh ... i'm sure no one can understand what it is that i'm trying to get across. but that's okay. i think i finally understand it.
in the interest of ending on a positive note, tonight was full of great quotes. enjoy.
"looking outside now ... (pause) ... it is dark." - ryan mcpike during his weather forecast
"you can't teach barbara walters how to rap." - queen latifah
"stop high fiving me! i don't want to high five sex crimes!" - conan o'brien
conan: no one should be caged
borak: what about gypsies?
ah ... more sighing.
i think it's time for a run. that should clear my mind
that is all...thank you.
music: stacie orrico - there's gotta be more to life (yeah, wtf?!? i know)
the internet is crabby. that makes me crabby.
an unsuccessful night of trying to go out. plans fell through to go boozing at a friend of kk's place. though garret is convinced that they ditched the two of us. ah well. life goes on. word on the street was that it was being postponed until tomorrow night, but mayor daub has to work at 8 am on friday and i'm supposed to hang out with some of my fellow camp counselors so i think i'll have to miss the one. must admit, would have been nice to feel out the social scene with the folks from the playhouse. it would have been ray with the kk, mike trying desperately to get on sam and myself and mayor daub getting drunk, being hilarious, and probably insulting the other people there. but we would have thought it funny. and let's face it - that's all that matters.
i spent a couple of hours at my old high school's (in texas) website and the sites of the other 2 high schools in the city. what a bad idea. seeing all the pictures and reading all the stories about these people that used to be my best friends - people that i grew up with ... oh, it was heartbreaking. i cried a little, just longing for what my life could have been if i had stayed. i miss wichita SO much. and i miss those beautifully, wonderfully, sincere and honest people. i know people shit on texas and texans quite a bit and i will be the first to admit that they deserve some of it, but those are (to this day) some of the best people i've ever met. certainly better than the vast majority of the folks i have come across here. need i give the thumbs up? you know what i mean...
i can't possibly do my feelings justice. i don't know what it is, this omaha business has just been an incredibly difficult time in my life. i can't fully illustrate how negative these 3 years have been. granted, some parts have been great. and there are definitely experiences that i wouldn't trade for the world ... but ... sigh ... i'm sure no one can understand what it is that i'm trying to get across. but that's okay. i think i finally understand it.
in the interest of ending on a positive note, tonight was full of great quotes. enjoy.
"looking outside now ... (pause) ... it is dark." - ryan mcpike during his weather forecast
"you can't teach barbara walters how to rap." - queen latifah
"stop high fiving me! i don't want to high five sex crimes!" - conan o'brien
conan: no one should be caged
borak: what about gypsies?
ah ... more sighing.
i think it's time for a run. that should clear my mind
that is all...thank you.
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
mood: hopeful
music: jem - they (holy shit, this chick is brilliant. check her out. i command it.)
sigh. i can't get chicago off my mind. i talked to 2 of my favorite boys tonight. oh matty and ian (of the fields variety). i miss you boys more than you could ever know. i can't wait to see you when i get back. ian, take those bets and wire my room (no shower cams naughty boy) and i'll let you know how things play out. i should hope your saucy minx (that's me...wahoo!) won't have to get feisty and cut any bitches. and matty, i can't wait until we can sleep in the same bed again. (especially since you're living with stewie and kyle...rar?!) oh! my heart.
i've had some wondrous philosophical talks with my boys lately. laurence, ryan, ian (of the mclaren variety), and ian (of the fields variety) - you boys are so brilliant. so many of my realizations have been provoked by our exchanges. i don't know what i would do without you.
"i'm positive that not too far off exists a time when we will hesitate for a moment and realize that we have once again survived a period of turmoil. and we will be struck by the intricate beauty of everyone and everything which we're surrounded with. and we'll be intensely overwhelmed with a seemingly inexplicable joy and peace. and that type of reassurance is truly what keeps me going."
omaha. i tell you, most things here suck. and lately the weather has been trying to get into that category with the scary storms while i'm home alone business. but holy crap. ryan mcpike makes it ALL better. mantha and i have always turned to him in our time of need and he ALWAYS delivers. and man. that is one cute meterologist. makes me want to study clouds and shit. or not. i would say he is the one redeeming factor about this city, but he's not even from here. he's from kansas city. so once again, omaha sucks...and blows...and probably swallows...what a whore.
this cannot be denied. many have tried. and have been served.
that is all...thank you.
music: jem - they (holy shit, this chick is brilliant. check her out. i command it.)
sigh. i can't get chicago off my mind. i talked to 2 of my favorite boys tonight. oh matty and ian (of the fields variety). i miss you boys more than you could ever know. i can't wait to see you when i get back. ian, take those bets and wire my room (no shower cams naughty boy) and i'll let you know how things play out. i should hope your saucy minx (that's me...wahoo!) won't have to get feisty and cut any bitches. and matty, i can't wait until we can sleep in the same bed again. (especially since you're living with stewie and kyle...rar?!) oh! my heart.
i've had some wondrous philosophical talks with my boys lately. laurence, ryan, ian (of the mclaren variety), and ian (of the fields variety) - you boys are so brilliant. so many of my realizations have been provoked by our exchanges. i don't know what i would do without you.
"i'm positive that not too far off exists a time when we will hesitate for a moment and realize that we have once again survived a period of turmoil. and we will be struck by the intricate beauty of everyone and everything which we're surrounded with. and we'll be intensely overwhelmed with a seemingly inexplicable joy and peace. and that type of reassurance is truly what keeps me going."
omaha. i tell you, most things here suck. and lately the weather has been trying to get into that category with the scary storms while i'm home alone business. but holy crap. ryan mcpike makes it ALL better. mantha and i have always turned to him in our time of need and he ALWAYS delivers. and man. that is one cute meterologist. makes me want to study clouds and shit. or not. i would say he is the one redeeming factor about this city, but he's not even from here. he's from kansas city. so once again, omaha sucks...and blows...and probably swallows...what a whore.
this cannot be denied. many have tried. and have been served.
that is all...thank you.
Monday, July 12, 2004
mood: curious
music: maroon 5 - she will be loved
last night was interesting. sinley took his pants off while we watched fucking horrendous scary movie 3. rachel dellovecchio, i want my time back...
anyway, i went driving about an hour ago. found a dary queen that happened to be open so i got some sweet sweet cheescake ice cream. then it started to rain. i left the windows down and turned my music up. it was nice. the combination of the rain, the wind, the heat, the amazing lightning, the ice cream and the radio made me terribly nostalgic. and right now i'm truly longing for clayton, jenna, linnea, dani, heather, steph, alisha and my life in wichita falls. but i don't want the significantly altered and severely complicated life i would have if i went back now. i want the somewhat simplified life i had there back in freshman year and the summer after when i visited for a month.
and i was reminded of all the conversations and anti-conversations that i had with clayton. gosh i miss talking to him. most of you know how much i adore that friendship, and i can't reinforce that enough. but anyway, i keep replaying one particular exchange in my mind. he asked me what i wanted out of life. but he wasn't particularly interested in the dull things like jobs, spouses, houses and kids - or lack thereof. he was referring to interpersonal relationships - the tiny little emotional and otherwise intangible things that i wanted out of life. i doubt he remembers this, but i do - because i couldn't really come up with an answer. and years later, i'm not entirely positive that this has changed. so i think i'm going to sleep on this and see if i can't come up with something.
i do know that i am having the worst craving ever. only problem is that it's for some stuffed and havanna shrimp from el capitano's, located on the beach in mazatlan, sinaloa, mexico. damn. and oh, i want it bad.
this cannot be denied. many have tried...and have been served. (do we like this as the new endline for posts? versus the old "that is all...thank you" shoot a comment)
music: maroon 5 - she will be loved
last night was interesting. sinley took his pants off while we watched fucking horrendous scary movie 3. rachel dellovecchio, i want my time back...
anyway, i went driving about an hour ago. found a dary queen that happened to be open so i got some sweet sweet cheescake ice cream. then it started to rain. i left the windows down and turned my music up. it was nice. the combination of the rain, the wind, the heat, the amazing lightning, the ice cream and the radio made me terribly nostalgic. and right now i'm truly longing for clayton, jenna, linnea, dani, heather, steph, alisha and my life in wichita falls. but i don't want the significantly altered and severely complicated life i would have if i went back now. i want the somewhat simplified life i had there back in freshman year and the summer after when i visited for a month.
and i was reminded of all the conversations and anti-conversations that i had with clayton. gosh i miss talking to him. most of you know how much i adore that friendship, and i can't reinforce that enough. but anyway, i keep replaying one particular exchange in my mind. he asked me what i wanted out of life. but he wasn't particularly interested in the dull things like jobs, spouses, houses and kids - or lack thereof. he was referring to interpersonal relationships - the tiny little emotional and otherwise intangible things that i wanted out of life. i doubt he remembers this, but i do - because i couldn't really come up with an answer. and years later, i'm not entirely positive that this has changed. so i think i'm going to sleep on this and see if i can't come up with something.
i do know that i am having the worst craving ever. only problem is that it's for some stuffed and havanna shrimp from el capitano's, located on the beach in mazatlan, sinaloa, mexico. damn. and oh, i want it bad.
this cannot be denied. many have tried...and have been served. (do we like this as the new endline for posts? versus the old "that is all...thank you" shoot a comment)
Sunday, July 11, 2004
mood: afjhsdkanfuietab
music: the greatest american hero theme - believe it or not
HOLY SHIT. if you are mantha, mayor daub, or the kk, then you need i have a present for you. i think you'll like it. use the sidebar and scroll down to the bottom and follow the link to fully enjoy it.
speaking of kk, she comes back tonight. riding with sam to the airport to fetch her so she doesn't kill her family on the drive home. but you'd think since she got through a week with them she could get through 30 more minutes. but then again...
last couple of days have been pretty quiet. hit the tat shop with mantha friday and saturday. that was...special. i discovered a whole new culture that i didn't know anything about! they're called... CRAZY PEOPLE. but really, i was reading magazines like "hevy metal" and "tatoos! for men" and "tatoos! for women" and "PAIN!" and "body mod: TO THE XTREME!" i read about flesh stapling and scarification - which is where they carve designs into your skin in such a way that the body is forced to heal with scar tissue. WTF?! then on saturday there was a crazy old man wearing fishnets and an eye patch who was out of his mind and trying to do tricks on a skateboard while going uphill. also, the tat parlor is called "lil bros," which is like lil homies. what an experience...
in random news, i talked to andy kerkhoff last night. he didn't believe it was me at first. and i wondered if that many people were really out there trying to fool people i hung out with in high school into thinking that they were me.
hung out with stephanie hillan and co. ran into devyn bailey and this girl from millard west and badmouthed tony tozer for a minute. good times. after we left them we ended up just kind of driving around omaha. well it turns out stephanie's parents don't like her boyfriend and she brought that up in the car and her boyfriend freaked out and said he was going to confront her parents about it and we were like "no, what the hell is wrong with you?!?!?" and then it was real awkward and me and her good friend, jesse were sitting in the back seat cracking jokes while she and her boyfriend moped in the front seat. after a bout of awkward silence jesse decided it was a good idea to sing one of kid rock's "slow jams" and i almost killed myself. it was like a bad teen movie. so then she drove back to her boyfriend's apt and got out of the car and stormed away and her boyfriend got out and stormed into his apt. i got out and accidentally locked the door so i couldn't get to my deoderant that i bought and left in her car the other day. so jesse runs off to talk stephanie down and i'm stuck there yelling, "steph, i need to get my deoderant!" eventually i tried walking around the grounds real quick, couldn't find them and i bet the negro wandering around the complex looked real suspicious to everyone passing by. when i got back to our cars, i checked the driver door. it was unlocked. so i got my deoderant and peaced out. what a weird night. ::hears phone ringing:: oh look, she's calling me right now...
hmmm...what else. my mom left today. she's at a wellness convention in wisconsin. it's a mandatory part of one of the classes she has to take while she continues to work on her doctorate. she's going to die. hell, with the way we eat and the way she smokes, it's not going to be pretty. i envision it will be a week of sneaking around behind the buildings with her classmates with the smokes in one hand and the burger in the other. in the meantime, i have the house - and the food - all to myself.
in the spirit of that fact, i think it's time for a run, a shower, and then some serious loafing around in my towel...
that is all...thank you.
p.s. don't forget to check out the WOOTS! on the left side. if you were good, then there's a woot! for you...
music: the greatest american hero theme - believe it or not
HOLY SHIT. if you are mantha, mayor daub, or the kk, then you need i have a present for you. i think you'll like it. use the sidebar and scroll down to the bottom and follow the link to fully enjoy it.
speaking of kk, she comes back tonight. riding with sam to the airport to fetch her so she doesn't kill her family on the drive home. but you'd think since she got through a week with them she could get through 30 more minutes. but then again...
last couple of days have been pretty quiet. hit the tat shop with mantha friday and saturday. that was...special. i discovered a whole new culture that i didn't know anything about! they're called... CRAZY PEOPLE. but really, i was reading magazines like "hevy metal" and "tatoos! for men" and "tatoos! for women" and "PAIN!" and "body mod: TO THE XTREME!" i read about flesh stapling and scarification - which is where they carve designs into your skin in such a way that the body is forced to heal with scar tissue. WTF?! then on saturday there was a crazy old man wearing fishnets and an eye patch who was out of his mind and trying to do tricks on a skateboard while going uphill. also, the tat parlor is called "lil bros," which is like lil homies. what an experience...
in random news, i talked to andy kerkhoff last night. he didn't believe it was me at first. and i wondered if that many people were really out there trying to fool people i hung out with in high school into thinking that they were me.
hung out with stephanie hillan and co. ran into devyn bailey and this girl from millard west and badmouthed tony tozer for a minute. good times. after we left them we ended up just kind of driving around omaha. well it turns out stephanie's parents don't like her boyfriend and she brought that up in the car and her boyfriend freaked out and said he was going to confront her parents about it and we were like "no, what the hell is wrong with you?!?!?" and then it was real awkward and me and her good friend, jesse were sitting in the back seat cracking jokes while she and her boyfriend moped in the front seat. after a bout of awkward silence jesse decided it was a good idea to sing one of kid rock's "slow jams" and i almost killed myself. it was like a bad teen movie. so then she drove back to her boyfriend's apt and got out of the car and stormed away and her boyfriend got out and stormed into his apt. i got out and accidentally locked the door so i couldn't get to my deoderant that i bought and left in her car the other day. so jesse runs off to talk stephanie down and i'm stuck there yelling, "steph, i need to get my deoderant!" eventually i tried walking around the grounds real quick, couldn't find them and i bet the negro wandering around the complex looked real suspicious to everyone passing by. when i got back to our cars, i checked the driver door. it was unlocked. so i got my deoderant and peaced out. what a weird night. ::hears phone ringing:: oh look, she's calling me right now...
hmmm...what else. my mom left today. she's at a wellness convention in wisconsin. it's a mandatory part of one of the classes she has to take while she continues to work on her doctorate. she's going to die. hell, with the way we eat and the way she smokes, it's not going to be pretty. i envision it will be a week of sneaking around behind the buildings with her classmates with the smokes in one hand and the burger in the other. in the meantime, i have the house - and the food - all to myself.
in the spirit of that fact, i think it's time for a run, a shower, and then some serious loafing around in my towel...
that is all...thank you.
p.s. don't forget to check out the WOOTS! on the left side. if you were good, then there's a woot! for you...
Friday, July 09, 2004
mood: tired of circles
music: finger eleven - one thing, nelly furtado - powerless (say what you want), no doubt - it's my life
realizations aplenty. but there is one thing i keep returning to. it's so fascinating and so insane the way we all go through life expecting people to act. we all desire that people function according to OUR rules and act within OUR bounds. but everyone's bounds and rules are different. and if someone told us we had to live by their rules with disregard to our own, we would be outraged. and yet, that is what we all expect of each other.
this business of working out problems seems to be the most prevalent issue in mine and several of my friend's lives. i'm learning how damn near impossible it is to get all parties involved in a situation to come to a place where resolution can begin at the same time. it's ridiculous for someone to tell me when i should or should not come to talk to them as if laying down some series of rules by which i must abide if i want results. refer to above paragraph. on the same token, it's not fair for me to expect someone to want to work things out simply because i am ready to. so i would venture to say that it requires some discomfort from ALL sides. which, let's be honest, sucks. i don't think i've met anyone that's aching to be annoyed or inconvenieced for someone else's sake. but perhaps that is just what has to be done. another case of a difference between what you want to do and what you should do.
i also come back to how easy it is for things to become skewed. how one word (in speech) or grammatical choice (in things like these online journals) can put such an incredible slant on the truth or toss a dose of malice out into the world. i find it amazing how quickly reality becomes slurred and blurred and shadows of suspicions can be cast. one or two carefully chosen adjectives. a couple of keystrokes. suddenly you're not dealing in black and white - or even gray anymore.
and finally (i think) come endings. i feel like i'm on the edge of a mammoth ending and a mammoth ending. now i went through a quasi version of this when i ended the whole high school thing and went off to college. but there is a certain finality that will mark my leaving in august. i won't be back for thanksgiving or fall break. probably won't be back over the christmas break. definitely not coming back next summer. then it's looking like a year or so in europe. and more and more i feel like it's time for me to end my omaha life.
i want to let you all know that i want to leave on GREAT terms. but i want to leave. there are times that i think there is little to benefit me here now. there are a few (VERY few) relationships that i want to bring with me as i continue on my way with the hopes that those relationships will keep growing and changing. i really do enjoy seeing certain people once in a while and taking a quick trip through our wacky memories. but the small enjoyment that i get from that does not compare to the strong desire to leave the city as soon as i get here.
perhaps i wasn't designed to tolerate omaha. it's becoming clear that i was meant to be here for a spell to meet certain people, do certain things, have certain realizations and learn certain lessons. but other than that...nothing. i've got what i was suppsed to get, given what i was supposed to give. it's slightly disconcerting because of the shock i experienced ending my wichita falls life (which surprisingly is becoming more alive now). don't get me wrong, parts of this life were and are superb. mostly the few really really good people with really really good hearts. you probably already know who you are. i never take you for granted. and i love you dearly. and that's what i hope i can take with me...my connetions with you guys. but i didn't grow up here, i don't have a real emotional attachment to this city or to most of my material things i acquired here. what is left to mourn?
that is all...thank you.
music: finger eleven - one thing, nelly furtado - powerless (say what you want), no doubt - it's my life
realizations aplenty. but there is one thing i keep returning to. it's so fascinating and so insane the way we all go through life expecting people to act. we all desire that people function according to OUR rules and act within OUR bounds. but everyone's bounds and rules are different. and if someone told us we had to live by their rules with disregard to our own, we would be outraged. and yet, that is what we all expect of each other.
this business of working out problems seems to be the most prevalent issue in mine and several of my friend's lives. i'm learning how damn near impossible it is to get all parties involved in a situation to come to a place where resolution can begin at the same time. it's ridiculous for someone to tell me when i should or should not come to talk to them as if laying down some series of rules by which i must abide if i want results. refer to above paragraph. on the same token, it's not fair for me to expect someone to want to work things out simply because i am ready to. so i would venture to say that it requires some discomfort from ALL sides. which, let's be honest, sucks. i don't think i've met anyone that's aching to be annoyed or inconvenieced for someone else's sake. but perhaps that is just what has to be done. another case of a difference between what you want to do and what you should do.
i also come back to how easy it is for things to become skewed. how one word (in speech) or grammatical choice (in things like these online journals) can put such an incredible slant on the truth or toss a dose of malice out into the world. i find it amazing how quickly reality becomes slurred and blurred and shadows of suspicions can be cast. one or two carefully chosen adjectives. a couple of keystrokes. suddenly you're not dealing in black and white - or even gray anymore.
and finally (i think) come endings. i feel like i'm on the edge of a mammoth ending and a mammoth ending. now i went through a quasi version of this when i ended the whole high school thing and went off to college. but there is a certain finality that will mark my leaving in august. i won't be back for thanksgiving or fall break. probably won't be back over the christmas break. definitely not coming back next summer. then it's looking like a year or so in europe. and more and more i feel like it's time for me to end my omaha life.
i want to let you all know that i want to leave on GREAT terms. but i want to leave. there are times that i think there is little to benefit me here now. there are a few (VERY few) relationships that i want to bring with me as i continue on my way with the hopes that those relationships will keep growing and changing. i really do enjoy seeing certain people once in a while and taking a quick trip through our wacky memories. but the small enjoyment that i get from that does not compare to the strong desire to leave the city as soon as i get here.
perhaps i wasn't designed to tolerate omaha. it's becoming clear that i was meant to be here for a spell to meet certain people, do certain things, have certain realizations and learn certain lessons. but other than that...nothing. i've got what i was suppsed to get, given what i was supposed to give. it's slightly disconcerting because of the shock i experienced ending my wichita falls life (which surprisingly is becoming more alive now). don't get me wrong, parts of this life were and are superb. mostly the few really really good people with really really good hearts. you probably already know who you are. i never take you for granted. and i love you dearly. and that's what i hope i can take with me...my connetions with you guys. but i didn't grow up here, i don't have a real emotional attachment to this city or to most of my material things i acquired here. what is left to mourn?
that is all...thank you.
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
mood: shifty
music: maroon 5 - songs about jane
the past couple of days have been interesting. ran into jen neuberger yesterday and marco braunschweiler tonight. now those are two badass people from high school that i actually liked. i mean, marco has dual citizenship here and in switzerland. i think that definitely set him up to be one of the coolest and funniest people ever to live. heard some milli vanilli on the radio. hung out with stephanie hillan and was reminded about how wonderful it is to rekindle friendships. especially the good ones. (on that note, talked to some of my fellow camp counselors and am looking forward to hanging out with those kids soon... james, alex, umang...wahoo! also looking forward to partying with beth tomorrow night) stumbled upon a ring of livejournals where people pretend to be celebrities. apparently they come up with little story lines and journal about them as if they were really happening.it's crazy. it's circus style. check it out. this one is "wilmer valderrama's" (the guy who plays fez on that 70's show). looked through the yearbook without experiencing bouts of severe anger and hatred at some of the folks i detested during high school. i was angered because i was valued less by others because of the way i look. but i was even more angered that I value myself less on those same grounds. and while i am regretful that i held myself back, i am hopeful about my present and my future. had a good talk with chang and realized that i have actually come to peace about a friendship that's just not going to work - as opposed to just saying i did when i was really still bitter. ran. just to run. for the first time in my life. and it was awful. "my astmathic lungs shriveled in horror." (kelly). but i survived. felt a sense of accomplishment and can't wait to do it again. saw fahrenheit 9/11 with mayor daub (gotta pick up that soundtrack...haha). so good. but only go see it if you're not and idiot and can digest and have an intelligent reaction to it. enjoyed typing one long ass paragraph. started having some interesting thoughts about what i want out of my life, but i'll blog about those later. must get to bed now. need to rest up for shopping for a "typewriter" with molly (who doesn't leave until thursday...dork) and mayor daub. clearly that is code. but for what? the world may never know.
actually i do know. and so does molly. and so does mayor daub.
but you don't.
biatch.
that is all...thank you.
music: maroon 5 - songs about jane
the past couple of days have been interesting. ran into jen neuberger yesterday and marco braunschweiler tonight. now those are two badass people from high school that i actually liked. i mean, marco has dual citizenship here and in switzerland. i think that definitely set him up to be one of the coolest and funniest people ever to live. heard some milli vanilli on the radio. hung out with stephanie hillan and was reminded about how wonderful it is to rekindle friendships. especially the good ones. (on that note, talked to some of my fellow camp counselors and am looking forward to hanging out with those kids soon... james, alex, umang...wahoo! also looking forward to partying with beth tomorrow night) stumbled upon a ring of livejournals where people pretend to be celebrities. apparently they come up with little story lines and journal about them as if they were really happening.it's crazy. it's circus style. check it out. this one is "wilmer valderrama's" (the guy who plays fez on that 70's show). looked through the yearbook without experiencing bouts of severe anger and hatred at some of the folks i detested during high school. i was angered because i was valued less by others because of the way i look. but i was even more angered that I value myself less on those same grounds. and while i am regretful that i held myself back, i am hopeful about my present and my future. had a good talk with chang and realized that i have actually come to peace about a friendship that's just not going to work - as opposed to just saying i did when i was really still bitter. ran. just to run. for the first time in my life. and it was awful. "my astmathic lungs shriveled in horror." (kelly). but i survived. felt a sense of accomplishment and can't wait to do it again. saw fahrenheit 9/11 with mayor daub (gotta pick up that soundtrack...haha). so good. but only go see it if you're not and idiot and can digest and have an intelligent reaction to it. enjoyed typing one long ass paragraph. started having some interesting thoughts about what i want out of my life, but i'll blog about those later. must get to bed now. need to rest up for shopping for a "typewriter" with molly (who doesn't leave until thursday...dork) and mayor daub. clearly that is code. but for what? the world may never know.
actually i do know. and so does molly. and so does mayor daub.
but you don't.
biatch.
that is all...thank you.
Friday, July 02, 2004
mood: i wish it would rain
music: nico - these days
the past couple of days have been interesting. the bbq was good fun i suppose. i have to admit that it was beautiful to see sinley and mormon kyle again. i just haven't been dressing as well without my favorite stylist. megan glover officially sucks, because we were supposed to make brownies together, but instead she just decided to randomly not call me back (and then try to use the "your phone must be broken" line) and go make brownies with vasta. my tender heart aches. but most everything else was good wholesome fun. and i must say, forming a new country with mayor daub and offering people diplomatic immunity in exchange for refilling our alcohol was a fabulous idea. also, boxed wine out of plastic cups is classy, watermelon is always a good idea when drunk and double shots of vodka are okay by me...except when mayor daub steals them.
but the party did segway into a serious disappointment. surely you must feel a story coming on. well, for the sake of maturity i'm going to leave out the name(s), so you can make up your own to fit where necessary. the night of the bbq (insert name here) said something very interesting to me that was really german to my thoughts in my recent post about friendships (the one like 3 or 4 posts ago). so the next day i decided to take some of the advice that's been thrown around lately and talk to that person in a straightforward manner. i attempted to start an honest dialogue wherein i had hoped i could finally get that clarity i was looking for. well, there were no answers and no explanation from the other party.
and i'm just like "wtf?" i've always thought that when two intelligent people have a problem and one or both of them attempts to address it, they should logically be able to figure some things out. but when one side just has no answers and CANNOT (because i know, sometimes in life, we're just too confused and really can't find an answer) or WILL NOT attempt an explanation, well i guess i just don't have standard protocal for a response to that. i mean, what am i supposed to DO with that? or perhaps, the logic is that i cannot do anything with that. i guess i've done my part and i have to leave it up to the other person. which is, of course, the hardest thing to do. nothing. but, in the meantime, i enjoy and appreciate my other relationships that i am continually hoping are more solid and know i can only influence my own actions at this point. and i'm not going to let this consume or bother me. i said i was finished with drama after high school and i was SO serious.(which consequently means i'm only going to talk to exactly 4 other people about this, since they are - to a certain extent - a part of this) better just to relax and let things come as they may. i can concern myself with future action(s)/reaction(s) in the future.
i think i've figured out this purpose of blog/journal business. at least my own personal view on them:
*blogs/journals are for ranting if you want them to be. on the same token, if you don't take a step away from the computer and into the real world to work on the problems, then you really can't ever expect a solution.
*when you have a problem with other people that you want to rant about, leaving out the names really cuts down on the drama. but, it's your site, so you certainly have the right to throw them out there. but consider that with regards to the majority of the people that will be reading about the problem, it's none of their/our business and skews their/our opinions of the people mentioned. and every side deserves to be heard before judgment...in most cases.
* when you read other people's blogs/journals, you do run a certain risk of seeing something shitty written about you. but if you're not shitty then shitty things probably won't be written about you. (which is not to say that the person i was writing about earlier is shitty. they are not.)
*commenting on posts can either make it worse, or make it funny. if i'm not involved in the problem, i try to make it funny.
*sometimes i think we forget that blogs/journals are fun. so whatever is whatever. it's not that serious.
more and more this nico business is becoming my theme song
that is all...thank you.
music: nico - these days
the past couple of days have been interesting. the bbq was good fun i suppose. i have to admit that it was beautiful to see sinley and mormon kyle again. i just haven't been dressing as well without my favorite stylist. megan glover officially sucks, because we were supposed to make brownies together, but instead she just decided to randomly not call me back (and then try to use the "your phone must be broken" line) and go make brownies with vasta. my tender heart aches. but most everything else was good wholesome fun. and i must say, forming a new country with mayor daub and offering people diplomatic immunity in exchange for refilling our alcohol was a fabulous idea. also, boxed wine out of plastic cups is classy, watermelon is always a good idea when drunk and double shots of vodka are okay by me...except when mayor daub steals them.
but the party did segway into a serious disappointment. surely you must feel a story coming on. well, for the sake of maturity i'm going to leave out the name(s), so you can make up your own to fit where necessary. the night of the bbq (insert name here) said something very interesting to me that was really german to my thoughts in my recent post about friendships (the one like 3 or 4 posts ago). so the next day i decided to take some of the advice that's been thrown around lately and talk to that person in a straightforward manner. i attempted to start an honest dialogue wherein i had hoped i could finally get that clarity i was looking for. well, there were no answers and no explanation from the other party.
and i'm just like "wtf?" i've always thought that when two intelligent people have a problem and one or both of them attempts to address it, they should logically be able to figure some things out. but when one side just has no answers and CANNOT (because i know, sometimes in life, we're just too confused and really can't find an answer) or WILL NOT attempt an explanation, well i guess i just don't have standard protocal for a response to that. i mean, what am i supposed to DO with that? or perhaps, the logic is that i cannot do anything with that. i guess i've done my part and i have to leave it up to the other person. which is, of course, the hardest thing to do. nothing. but, in the meantime, i enjoy and appreciate my other relationships that i am continually hoping are more solid and know i can only influence my own actions at this point. and i'm not going to let this consume or bother me. i said i was finished with drama after high school and i was SO serious.(which consequently means i'm only going to talk to exactly 4 other people about this, since they are - to a certain extent - a part of this) better just to relax and let things come as they may. i can concern myself with future action(s)/reaction(s) in the future.
i think i've figured out this purpose of blog/journal business. at least my own personal view on them:
*blogs/journals are for ranting if you want them to be. on the same token, if you don't take a step away from the computer and into the real world to work on the problems, then you really can't ever expect a solution.
*when you have a problem with other people that you want to rant about, leaving out the names really cuts down on the drama. but, it's your site, so you certainly have the right to throw them out there. but consider that with regards to the majority of the people that will be reading about the problem, it's none of their/our business and skews their/our opinions of the people mentioned. and every side deserves to be heard before judgment...in most cases.
* when you read other people's blogs/journals, you do run a certain risk of seeing something shitty written about you. but if you're not shitty then shitty things probably won't be written about you. (which is not to say that the person i was writing about earlier is shitty. they are not.)
*commenting on posts can either make it worse, or make it funny. if i'm not involved in the problem, i try to make it funny.
*sometimes i think we forget that blogs/journals are fun. so whatever is whatever. it's not that serious.
more and more this nico business is becoming my theme song
that is all...thank you.
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