mood: TIME FOR RECREATIONAL READING! FINALLY!
[wow, that's so lame]
music: Ashlee Simpson - Boyfriend]
i went and vaporized again.
but i'm back in action. and significantly less angsty.
academically, socially, physically, and extra-curriculatively [not a word] , this was a fucking hard semester. i came into this with a lot fire and focus, but the damn thing still managed to kick me around. i pouted, i cried, i seriously contemplated dropping out of school next semester. hell, when i surprised myself and the world by going back to omaha for thanksgiving i was thisclose to withdrawing right then.
after a great deal of grief and one week with 4 all-nighters [i finally feel like i've earned my college student badge] it seems as though i have pulled through. and i think i can say that i'm a bit refreshed. don't know, something about knowing that i fucking suffered but survived makes me feel a bit triumphant. and elitist. because i earned my grades. with blood, sweat, and tears. yes, blood. i wouldn't ask about that story if i was you.
so now i get to do things like go out to dinner, move out of the stars office, return the 42 books i have checked out, sleep, and read books that have nothing to do with class. i haven't done that...since...well, i don't know. i guess i did some recreational reading in europa, but that doesn't count. i suppose i haven't done any reading for my own personal enjoyment while in the united states since around 1872. yeah, it's been a while.
so i'm gonna do that now.
and take a nap.
i don't know if i can handle all this free time.
i might get into trouble.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Monday, October 24, 2005
mood: cloudy . . . but standing on steadier ground.
music: damien rice - older chests
[all of us, falling in the cracks between what we owe to ourselves and what we owe to love -- oh, tony kushner, oh you . . . ]
how terribly brilliant, how beautifully painful it is when you arrive at your breaking point. when you reach the moment when you are so utterly exhausted that you simply leap -- without fear, without pretense. fully prepared to find your net . . . or to suffer its absence. when you can no longer tell the story of the war which you have waged with yourself from the standpoint of the one who could not, who would not fight in it - who would not fight for it.
and i'd certainly heard it all before. knew it without question or qualification. but it was only after i told you [sam, you're a lifesaver!] that i knew i could never tell my story again.
at least, not that way . . . time for a new ending.
older chests reveal themselves
like a crack in a wall
starting small, and grow in time
and we always seem to need the help
of someone else
to mend that shelf
too many books
read me your favourite line
papa went to other lands
and he found someone who understands
the ticking and the western man's need to cry
he came back the other day
yeah, you know, some things in life may change
and some things
they stay the same
like time
there's always time
on my mind
so pass me by
i'll be fine
just give me time
older gents sit on the fence
with their cap in hand
looking grand
they watch their city change
children scream, or so it seems --
louder than before
out of doors, and into stores with bigger names
mama tried to wash their faces
but these kids, they lost their graces
and daddy lost at the races too many times
she broke down the other day
yeah, you know, some things in life may change
but some things, they stay the same
like time
there's always time
on my mind
so pass me by
i'll be fine
just give me time
time, always time
on my mind
pass me by, i'll be fine
just give me time . . .
music: damien rice - older chests
[all of us, falling in the cracks between what we owe to ourselves and what we owe to love -- oh, tony kushner, oh you . . . ]
how terribly brilliant, how beautifully painful it is when you arrive at your breaking point. when you reach the moment when you are so utterly exhausted that you simply leap -- without fear, without pretense. fully prepared to find your net . . . or to suffer its absence. when you can no longer tell the story of the war which you have waged with yourself from the standpoint of the one who could not, who would not fight in it - who would not fight for it.
and i'd certainly heard it all before. knew it without question or qualification. but it was only after i told you [sam, you're a lifesaver!] that i knew i could never tell my story again.
at least, not that way . . . time for a new ending.
older chests reveal themselves
like a crack in a wall
starting small, and grow in time
and we always seem to need the help
of someone else
to mend that shelf
too many books
read me your favourite line
papa went to other lands
and he found someone who understands
the ticking and the western man's need to cry
he came back the other day
yeah, you know, some things in life may change
and some things
they stay the same
like time
there's always time
on my mind
so pass me by
i'll be fine
just give me time
older gents sit on the fence
with their cap in hand
looking grand
they watch their city change
children scream, or so it seems --
louder than before
out of doors, and into stores with bigger names
mama tried to wash their faces
but these kids, they lost their graces
and daddy lost at the races too many times
she broke down the other day
yeah, you know, some things in life may change
but some things, they stay the same
like time
there's always time
on my mind
so pass me by
i'll be fine
just give me time
time, always time
on my mind
pass me by, i'll be fine
just give me time . . .
Saturday, October 15, 2005
mood: confused. tired.
music: howie day - i'll take you on
oh yes, definitely in over my head.
make me fall down
make me get up
and if i'm alright
make sure i'm scared to death
maybe i'm useless
if i just could remember
make me feel nervous
and i'll make you surrender
i'll take you on
and i'll give it all away
but you don't - but you don't
and i'll give it all away
but you don't feel much better
said it yourself
said i'm not ready
and i'm telling myself
but it's not sinking in
maybe i'm new at this
or is it just your reaction?
be my illusion
and i'll be your distraction
i'll take you on
and i'll give it all away
but you don't - but you don't
and i'll give it all away
but you don't feel much better
would i be hurt?
it wouldn't hurt
to see you again
do you see what i meant?
when i told you before
that i never wanted to feel like this again
i'll give it all away
but you don't - but you don't
i'll give it all away
but you don't feel much better
can we stop all the world now?
sooner or later
i lose all control now
when the rain stops landing
nothing to fear
hear in my baby's arms
i'll take you on...
music: howie day - i'll take you on
oh yes, definitely in over my head.
make me fall down
make me get up
and if i'm alright
make sure i'm scared to death
maybe i'm useless
if i just could remember
make me feel nervous
and i'll make you surrender
i'll take you on
and i'll give it all away
but you don't - but you don't
and i'll give it all away
but you don't feel much better
said it yourself
said i'm not ready
and i'm telling myself
but it's not sinking in
maybe i'm new at this
or is it just your reaction?
be my illusion
and i'll be your distraction
i'll take you on
and i'll give it all away
but you don't - but you don't
and i'll give it all away
but you don't feel much better
would i be hurt?
it wouldn't hurt
to see you again
do you see what i meant?
when i told you before
that i never wanted to feel like this again
i'll give it all away
but you don't - but you don't
i'll give it all away
but you don't feel much better
can we stop all the world now?
sooner or later
i lose all control now
when the rain stops landing
nothing to fear
hear in my baby's arms
i'll take you on...
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
mood: so confused
music: guster - either way, fa fa, i spy
contradictions abound.
i'm trying to fight the good fight. you know, not throwing in the towel and all that nonsense. but right now i have this overwhelming urge to retreat back down my mighty hill, grab a d.c. on the way down and retreat back to my former safe haven.
"but what if..."
"well then you'll have your answer, like it or not."
but to be perfectly honest, i don't think i wanted any answer,
i'm way in over my head here.
music: guster - either way, fa fa, i spy
contradictions abound.
i'm trying to fight the good fight. you know, not throwing in the towel and all that nonsense. but right now i have this overwhelming urge to retreat back down my mighty hill, grab a d.c. on the way down and retreat back to my former safe haven.
"but what if..."
"well then you'll have your answer, like it or not."
but to be perfectly honest, i don't think i wanted any answer,
i'm way in over my head here.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
mood:i fucking hate doing office hours
music: death cab for cutie - tiny vessels
i'm really wondering about where the human pension for deception comes from. just out of curiosity -- when did we discover the benefits of equivocating and ellusiveness and when did we decide this would be an effective way of handling relationships? and when did i walk knowingly into an accordance with this practive? i get the whole theory about it being a seemingly great preservation tactic - that we're all desperately shielding ourselves from the biting sting of rejection in its many forms. but i get the sense that we're numbing ourselves. we're shielding ourselves from feeling. anyone. anything. it is no small matter that we no longer wallow in the the extremes of pain. but developing by counterpoint must be a pattern of distancing from the extremes of joy, right?
all i see are dark grey clouds
in the distance, moving closer with every hour
so when you ask 'is something wrong?'
i think 'you're damn right there is --
but we can't talk about it now.
no. we can't talk about it now . . .'
and what of a time when people live fiercely? they hate and laugh and love and grieve with everything they are - with more than they are. and they make mistakes, pitiful errors. get hurt badly and hurt others badly from time to time [though this is not to say they lack compassion and an eye to nurturing others]. and pain is accepted as necessarily and inextricably bound up in the fabric of this wild life. but oh, how they live! how they are then free to get tangled up in the substance of emotion. and the fear is there, but it no longer dictates what they can and cannot feel. and when fear is no longer at the wheel . . . well i am envious of that existence - what it must taste like, how such a sensation must electrify the very essence of reality . . .
oh, how they live.
music: death cab for cutie - tiny vessels
i'm really wondering about where the human pension for deception comes from. just out of curiosity -- when did we discover the benefits of equivocating and ellusiveness and when did we decide this would be an effective way of handling relationships? and when did i walk knowingly into an accordance with this practive? i get the whole theory about it being a seemingly great preservation tactic - that we're all desperately shielding ourselves from the biting sting of rejection in its many forms. but i get the sense that we're numbing ourselves. we're shielding ourselves from feeling. anyone. anything. it is no small matter that we no longer wallow in the the extremes of pain. but developing by counterpoint must be a pattern of distancing from the extremes of joy, right?
all i see are dark grey clouds
in the distance, moving closer with every hour
so when you ask 'is something wrong?'
i think 'you're damn right there is --
but we can't talk about it now.
no. we can't talk about it now . . .'
and what of a time when people live fiercely? they hate and laugh and love and grieve with everything they are - with more than they are. and they make mistakes, pitiful errors. get hurt badly and hurt others badly from time to time [though this is not to say they lack compassion and an eye to nurturing others]. and pain is accepted as necessarily and inextricably bound up in the fabric of this wild life. but oh, how they live! how they are then free to get tangled up in the substance of emotion. and the fear is there, but it no longer dictates what they can and cannot feel. and when fear is no longer at the wheel . . . well i am envious of that existence - what it must taste like, how such a sensation must electrify the very essence of reality . . .
oh, how they live.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
mood: introspective [i've got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots...]
music: death cab for cutie - a lack of color
august wilson died tonight. what an overwhelming feeling.
this changes so much.
this changes everything.
in other news, things are perfectly fine and good in my world. with the slight exception that i am dangerously close to provoking a moderate catastrophe. i know -- it seems merely more of the overly dramatic rhetoric we types are prone to reveling in. only i'm not so sure it's just rhetoric this time. i'm mildly concerned that i'm diving head first into disaster. and yet . . . it doesn't appear that i'm making any attempts to stop.
what does that mean?
i'm in a bit of a disconcerting place tonight. the day was uneventful, but the night ... oh, this night. took up with some wine to be able to stand it. went walking in the rain to sort it out.
really, i can't help but wonder at what point you pursue your own selfish interests -- turning a blind eye to ALL consequences. what constitutes such actions? where is there room to quibble, to be trivial? what in this maddening world is worth it?
where is there room to quibble, to be trivial?
what in ths maddening world is worth it?
what the devil does any of this mean?
i see a lot of ellipses here [read: grammatcial evasions of the truth?] --
i'd like to think my answer lies somewhere therein.
in a murderous time the heart breaks and breaks and lives by breaking
music: death cab for cutie - a lack of color
august wilson died tonight. what an overwhelming feeling.
this changes so much.
this changes everything.
in other news, things are perfectly fine and good in my world. with the slight exception that i am dangerously close to provoking a moderate catastrophe. i know -- it seems merely more of the overly dramatic rhetoric we types are prone to reveling in. only i'm not so sure it's just rhetoric this time. i'm mildly concerned that i'm diving head first into disaster. and yet . . . it doesn't appear that i'm making any attempts to stop.
what does that mean?
i could feel it go down
bittersweet i could taste in my mouth
silver lining the clouds
oh, and i - i wish that i could work it out
i'm in a bit of a disconcerting place tonight. the day was uneventful, but the night ... oh, this night. took up with some wine to be able to stand it. went walking in the rain to sort it out.
cause it's too important to stay the way it's been...
really, i can't help but wonder at what point you pursue your own selfish interests -- turning a blind eye to ALL consequences. what constitutes such actions? where is there room to quibble, to be trivial? what in this maddening world is worth it?
i could feel it go down
you left the sweetest taste in my mouth
silver line in the clouds
oh, and i - i wonder what it's all about
where is there room to quibble, to be trivial?
what in ths maddening world is worth it?
what the devil does any of this mean?
i see a lot of ellipses here [read: grammatcial evasions of the truth?] --
i'd like to think my answer lies somewhere therein.
oh instincts are misleading
you shouldn't think what you're feeling
they don't tell you what you know you should want...
in a murderous time the heart breaks and breaks and lives by breaking
Thursday, September 29, 2005
mood: FREE.DOM.
music: title and registration - death cab for cutie
whoa. so.
i don't know what happened to me. i think i was coasting along and somewhere around labor day i accidentally transcended the space-time contiuum and ended up here in Thursday, September 29 fully knowing that i've been in classes for exactly one month, yet being vaguely concious of a grave need for a vacation from my existence. (read: last night, i tried to hide behind my hands in hopes that no one would know where i was - the psychosis has set in)
but it's cold, i'm aware of a need for heartier meals, matching scarves, and heavier jackets - especially those of the alcoholic variety. fall is here. i am temporarily appeased and momentarily pacified. OCTOBER IS HERE, ASSHOLES. this is very exciting. not only because i am superficially pleased with double digit numbers and their intrinsic aesthetic value, but for the pragmatic reason that i am relieved to kiss september goodbye. it was much more the month of reckonning than august was. not to mention, i spent the last half of it in an almost constant state of consternation and various types of illness. so its end is a warmly welcomed one.
no offense, september, but you were a total asshole.
so what are my expecatations for october? oh, i don't know. i'd like to reduce them to good times, devious plots of arbitrary debauchery, going out like it's my J_O_B (read: i haven't gone out in almost 3 weeks and intend to be a full-on alchie this weekend), a visit to texas, bouts of incredible contentment and appreciation, the liberal use of sarcasm as a pre-emptive and first-line defense against any potential fissures in my otherwise well-kempt temperament, and the best fucking halloween on record thus far. i think these are reasonable goals.
and who knows, maybe i'll even be conscientious enough to post.
but i make no promises.
alright, i have to go "take" my last midterm in a little over an hour (read: director call for the new-student showcase is at 7 - no taking of any tests is involved, but my actor will showcase the fruits of my labors in actor coaching over the past month) , so i must now turn my search for internet entertainment to other sources.
does anyone else find it odd that i am done with midterms when it isn't really remotely close to the middle of the term? oh, the unconventional logic of loyola's jesuit education: ignoring all precepts of functional logic since 1870. (that's 135 years, friends...)
so for now, let's just say cheers to un bel octobre which i approach with little to no knowledge of exactly where it's headed . . .
Si vous savez exactement ce que vous allez faire, quel est le bon de le faire ?
ciao.
music: title and registration - death cab for cutie
whoa. so.
i don't know what happened to me. i think i was coasting along and somewhere around labor day i accidentally transcended the space-time contiuum and ended up here in Thursday, September 29 fully knowing that i've been in classes for exactly one month, yet being vaguely concious of a grave need for a vacation from my existence. (read: last night, i tried to hide behind my hands in hopes that no one would know where i was - the psychosis has set in)
but it's cold, i'm aware of a need for heartier meals, matching scarves, and heavier jackets - especially those of the alcoholic variety. fall is here. i am temporarily appeased and momentarily pacified. OCTOBER IS HERE, ASSHOLES. this is very exciting. not only because i am superficially pleased with double digit numbers and their intrinsic aesthetic value, but for the pragmatic reason that i am relieved to kiss september goodbye. it was much more the month of reckonning than august was. not to mention, i spent the last half of it in an almost constant state of consternation and various types of illness. so its end is a warmly welcomed one.
no offense, september, but you were a total asshole.
so what are my expecatations for october? oh, i don't know. i'd like to reduce them to good times, devious plots of arbitrary debauchery, going out like it's my J_O_B (read: i haven't gone out in almost 3 weeks and intend to be a full-on alchie this weekend), a visit to texas, bouts of incredible contentment and appreciation, the liberal use of sarcasm as a pre-emptive and first-line defense against any potential fissures in my otherwise well-kempt temperament, and the best fucking halloween on record thus far. i think these are reasonable goals.
and who knows, maybe i'll even be conscientious enough to post.
but i make no promises.
alright, i have to go "take" my last midterm in a little over an hour (read: director call for the new-student showcase is at 7 - no taking of any tests is involved, but my actor will showcase the fruits of my labors in actor coaching over the past month) , so i must now turn my search for internet entertainment to other sources.
does anyone else find it odd that i am done with midterms when it isn't really remotely close to the middle of the term? oh, the unconventional logic of loyola's jesuit education: ignoring all precepts of functional logic since 1870. (that's 135 years, friends...)
so for now, let's just say cheers to un bel octobre which i approach with little to no knowledge of exactly where it's headed . . .
Si vous savez exactement ce que vous allez faire, quel est le bon de le faire ?
ciao.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
mood: whoa, how am i even up this early?
music: regina spektor - us
cheers to coming to you live from the ADPi house down at UIUC. that's right, kids, i'm staying in a sorority house! never thought that one would come to fruition, did you? and quite frankly, it's not that bad - i mean, it's not as good as my santa clara on the lake, but i could get used to it if i had to. mostly i'm just SO excited to be with molly this weekend, seeing as how we haven't been together since last new year's. boo urns. anyway, we hit a couple of bars last night. they're a little different here: you only have to be 19 to get in, so having been born in 1985 is finally working to my advantage; the first bar we went to was basically a big ass garage that was converted into a bar - it was okay - awesome drinks, good music, but no one was dancing; the second bar we went to was actually a pub, so no one was shaking anything there etiher. coming from my chicago hamilton's and aix-en-provence background, i must say that it was a little bizarre to go out and not dance at all. but i have been promised that tonight we will go to the mysterious "joe's" where we will commence to getting straight rowdy on the dance floor. in the words of sasha "it will be crazy, taria. i won't be surprised if you and i make out."
should be a good story for posterity.
in other news, first week of classes - check. i like them all. i don't forsee a lot of skipping, actually. plus i'm only doing 13 hours - 14 if you count my extra practicum - so my load is obscenely easy. but i'm taking some heavy duty classes in terms of intellectual capacity required for success. i think it should balance fine with work (i got the job as a reader - hired on the spot and put right to work), directing, SMing the PRS, STARS, Gannons, and ABI . . . if only i can make it through next weekend.
in other other news, there is no reason why i should be up this early.
so i'm going back to bed.
music: regina spektor - us
cheers to coming to you live from the ADPi house down at UIUC. that's right, kids, i'm staying in a sorority house! never thought that one would come to fruition, did you? and quite frankly, it's not that bad - i mean, it's not as good as my santa clara on the lake, but i could get used to it if i had to. mostly i'm just SO excited to be with molly this weekend, seeing as how we haven't been together since last new year's. boo urns. anyway, we hit a couple of bars last night. they're a little different here: you only have to be 19 to get in, so having been born in 1985 is finally working to my advantage; the first bar we went to was basically a big ass garage that was converted into a bar - it was okay - awesome drinks, good music, but no one was dancing; the second bar we went to was actually a pub, so no one was shaking anything there etiher. coming from my chicago hamilton's and aix-en-provence background, i must say that it was a little bizarre to go out and not dance at all. but i have been promised that tonight we will go to the mysterious "joe's" where we will commence to getting straight rowdy on the dance floor. in the words of sasha "it will be crazy, taria. i won't be surprised if you and i make out."
should be a good story for posterity.
in other news, first week of classes - check. i like them all. i don't forsee a lot of skipping, actually. plus i'm only doing 13 hours - 14 if you count my extra practicum - so my load is obscenely easy. but i'm taking some heavy duty classes in terms of intellectual capacity required for success. i think it should balance fine with work (i got the job as a reader - hired on the spot and put right to work), directing, SMing the PRS, STARS, Gannons, and ABI . . . if only i can make it through next weekend.
in other other news, there is no reason why i should be up this early.
so i'm going back to bed.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
mood: curious
music: natasha bedingfield - these words
summer days are gone too soon
you shoot the moon and miss completely...
so this is it, eh? end of summer. end of freedom. when did that happen? i feel like it was just yesterday that i was living in the lakewood apartment with the boys cursing the lack of air conditioning (which actually ended up being good prep for europa), cautiously consuming laurence's home-made goods, harboring the downstairs neighbors when cristen's stalker came around, mildly fearing the upstairs cokeheads (and those funny sounds they made when their bodies hit the floor) and then missing them when they moved out, enjoying the surprise visits from ismalis, awaiting the daily belting of "i will always love you" and "the whisper song" by somone in the building, watching the complete first season of the oc and the second season of chappelle's show with ira, spending countless hours in front of the tv watching endless vh1 countdowns with our own special brand of commentating, sleeping with o'keefe and philosophizing on all that is life, working that horrid aog production in the mullady, getting into mediocre bouts of mischief, and causing and/or laughing at the random and benign drama.
now i find myself - over two months later - trying not to buckle under the pressure of the pre-semester pressures and duties (which are incredibly fierce this year) and desperately wanting to stay in omaha for just a bit longer. right, neveer thought i'd admit to that one. it's just been nice to chill in my own element with my own room full of my shit and try and get my head together. of course i'm out of control excited for all of the madness which awaits me in the RoPa: the debutante ball tomorrow night, living with bethy, partying with the HiOh's, meeting the newbies to the dept (and getting back into the hustle and flow of all that is loyola's theatre dept) , fresh faces, drinking heavily at cast parties, thirsty thirsdays at hamilton's, even gannon shit. it's gonna be an awesome semester, though an incredibly stressful one. but i'd be lying if i said i wasn't going to miss sleeping in my own bed , getting up at noon, putzing around on the facebook all day, drinking wine and eating bagels with mom, and passing the muggy evenings with stephanie hillan.
the WestO has been good to me this time around.
but i guess i'll take things one or two days at a time. today calls for packing and a serious girls night with steph. tomorrow calls for a long ass ride to the RoPa, heavy drinking and thus drunken reunions tomorrow night at the deb ball.
um, i think i can handle that. va bene...
{Post Script}
at this time i would like to issue the standard invitation to chicago. if any of you mnhs alums find yourselves with nothing to do and itching to get away from o-town, lincoln, or minneapolis, you're always welcome to swing by my uptown beach flat. i can guarantee a good time. (a much better time at loyola than if you make the mistake of going to party at northwestern - right rico?)so sammie, samtheman, steph, metran, chang, molly, bill, et all -- i hope to see you in the chi sometime this year.
1. bill feel free to bring jenna, andi, grant, josh, and/or jenna's mom of course.
2. sammie, you know we need to catch up and vent about the summer
3. chang, you can get wasted and run on the beach. what's better than that?
music: natasha bedingfield - these words
summer days are gone too soon
you shoot the moon and miss completely...
so this is it, eh? end of summer. end of freedom. when did that happen? i feel like it was just yesterday that i was living in the lakewood apartment with the boys cursing the lack of air conditioning (which actually ended up being good prep for europa), cautiously consuming laurence's home-made goods, harboring the downstairs neighbors when cristen's stalker came around, mildly fearing the upstairs cokeheads (and those funny sounds they made when their bodies hit the floor) and then missing them when they moved out, enjoying the surprise visits from ismalis, awaiting the daily belting of "i will always love you" and "the whisper song" by somone in the building, watching the complete first season of the oc and the second season of chappelle's show with ira, spending countless hours in front of the tv watching endless vh1 countdowns with our own special brand of commentating, sleeping with o'keefe and philosophizing on all that is life, working that horrid aog production in the mullady, getting into mediocre bouts of mischief, and causing and/or laughing at the random and benign drama.
now i find myself - over two months later - trying not to buckle under the pressure of the pre-semester pressures and duties (which are incredibly fierce this year) and desperately wanting to stay in omaha for just a bit longer. right, neveer thought i'd admit to that one. it's just been nice to chill in my own element with my own room full of my shit and try and get my head together. of course i'm out of control excited for all of the madness which awaits me in the RoPa: the debutante ball tomorrow night, living with bethy, partying with the HiOh's, meeting the newbies to the dept (and getting back into the hustle and flow of all that is loyola's theatre dept) , fresh faces, drinking heavily at cast parties, thirsty thirsdays at hamilton's, even gannon shit. it's gonna be an awesome semester, though an incredibly stressful one. but i'd be lying if i said i wasn't going to miss sleeping in my own bed , getting up at noon, putzing around on the facebook all day, drinking wine and eating bagels with mom, and passing the muggy evenings with stephanie hillan.
the WestO has been good to me this time around.
but i guess i'll take things one or two days at a time. today calls for packing and a serious girls night with steph. tomorrow calls for a long ass ride to the RoPa, heavy drinking and thus drunken reunions tomorrow night at the deb ball.
um, i think i can handle that. va bene...
{Post Script}
at this time i would like to issue the standard invitation to chicago. if any of you mnhs alums find yourselves with nothing to do and itching to get away from o-town, lincoln, or minneapolis, you're always welcome to swing by my uptown beach flat. i can guarantee a good time. (a much better time at loyola than if you make the mistake of going to party at northwestern - right rico?)so sammie, samtheman, steph, metran, chang, molly, bill, et all -- i hope to see you in the chi sometime this year.
1. bill feel free to bring jenna, andi, grant, josh, and/or jenna's mom of course.
2. sammie, you know we need to catch up and vent about the summer
3. chang, you can get wasted and run on the beach. what's better than that?
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
mood: cool
music: coldplay - the hardest part
"and when you get back, the question you will come to resent the most will be, 'how was france?' because you cannot answer that question. oh, you'll try, but in vane. you'll want to be able to share it with everyone you love, but you simply can't. it's impossible."
and once again i find that o'keefe was right.
music: coldplay - the hardest part
"and when you get back, the question you will come to resent the most will be, 'how was france?' because you cannot answer that question. oh, you'll try, but in vane. you'll want to be able to share it with everyone you love, but you simply can't. it's impossible."
and once again i find that o'keefe was right.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
mood: pensive
music: death cab for cutie - transatlanticism
so i'm leaving tomorrow. back to the states. it's time for me to come home.
and right now, i'm okay with that.
i've learned so much, done so much, seen so much, met so many incredible and loathsome people.
it's hard to put it all into a box, to categorize and call it one thing or another.
the bad, good, bittersweet.
i know i'm not the same person that i was before i left, but i'm not entire sure how i've changed.
should be interesting to find out.
i can't wait.
so i'll see you soon.
bisous...
music: death cab for cutie - transatlanticism
so i'm leaving tomorrow. back to the states. it's time for me to come home.
and right now, i'm okay with that.
i've learned so much, done so much, seen so much, met so many incredible and loathsome people.
it's hard to put it all into a box, to categorize and call it one thing or another.
the bad, good, bittersweet.
i know i'm not the same person that i was before i left, but i'm not entire sure how i've changed.
should be interesting to find out.
i can't wait.
so i'll see you soon.
bisous...
Saturday, August 06, 2005
mood: brill
music: travis - sing
paris is unlike any place i have ever experienced in my life.
go figure.
i've only got a couple more days here, so i've got to make them count. i don't want to leave.i feel like this city is my home.
and now that i've actually got a plane ticket back to the states i have to make peace with the fact that i'm not staying here forever.
oh, but i'll be back. no, seriously. i've already lined up a job for next summer.
on the other hand, on monday i'm leaving for oxford where i'm gonna meet up with rico and party like i'm goin into rehab soon.
hot.
music: travis - sing
paris is unlike any place i have ever experienced in my life.
go figure.
i've only got a couple more days here, so i've got to make them count. i don't want to leave.i feel like this city is my home.
and now that i've actually got a plane ticket back to the states i have to make peace with the fact that i'm not staying here forever.
oh, but i'll be back. no, seriously. i've already lined up a job for next summer.
on the other hand, on monday i'm leaving for oxford where i'm gonna meet up with rico and party like i'm goin into rehab soon.
hot.
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Monday, July 18, 2005
mood: chill
music: gavin degraw - follow through
i feel like anyone who is a loyal reader of this deserves a more detailed account of what the devil has been going on since i've been cavorting around europe. but honestly, too much has happened to recount here. this has been quite the whirlwind of a trip. i can't believe i will have been gone for a month in two days.
it's a little bizarre, really. i'm starting to feel at home here. things that confounded me at the outset of my journey are becoming habitual. it's as normal for me to have a bedee in my room (though i have yet to use it), kiss someone hello, have a 3 or 4 hour meal that doesn't start until 9:30, or to have all the stores around me close from noon until 2 or 3 everyday for lunch here as it was for me to do the opposite of all of these things in the states. the mullets, man-purses, and speedos are no longer shocking at all. oh, the things one can get used to.
classes have been very interesting. i'm learning the language so luch better.only a few days of them left. thank god. this 8:30 every morning business is really starting to get to me. the activities that the school plans for us are pretty brill, though. par example, yesterday we went to Antibes to a couple of museums. the first was a picasso museum. it's located on the sea (litterally) in a chateau (castle) which used to belong to the Gribaldi family (the royal family of monaco). he lived and painted there for an extended period of time in the early to mid 20th century. so that was pretty much the best thing that ever happened to me, considering my immence fascination with him. there was also an exhibition of art by nicolas de stael, a russian-french painter of the 50s. i'm really into him now as well. bought a couple of very pretentious art books on the two of them. and guess what? they're written in french. of course i would do something like that. mostly i can't wait to set them up in my apt and have other people marvel at how smart and cultured i am. anyway, the other museum housed a lot of modern art that was pretty badass. they had some stuff by marc chagall, who i think did one of the windows of the chicago art institude. anyway, he's most definitely worth looking up, among others, who i can't remember at the moment.
oh damn, i've got to run. we're going downtown now to visit the local porn shop. one of the girls has a friend who insisted that she buy him a gift. we will finish this lecture in french, spanish, and catalan art another time...
je vous manque!
music: gavin degraw - follow through
i feel like anyone who is a loyal reader of this deserves a more detailed account of what the devil has been going on since i've been cavorting around europe. but honestly, too much has happened to recount here. this has been quite the whirlwind of a trip. i can't believe i will have been gone for a month in two days.
it's a little bizarre, really. i'm starting to feel at home here. things that confounded me at the outset of my journey are becoming habitual. it's as normal for me to have a bedee in my room (though i have yet to use it), kiss someone hello, have a 3 or 4 hour meal that doesn't start until 9:30, or to have all the stores around me close from noon until 2 or 3 everyday for lunch here as it was for me to do the opposite of all of these things in the states. the mullets, man-purses, and speedos are no longer shocking at all. oh, the things one can get used to.
classes have been very interesting. i'm learning the language so luch better.only a few days of them left. thank god. this 8:30 every morning business is really starting to get to me. the activities that the school plans for us are pretty brill, though. par example, yesterday we went to Antibes to a couple of museums. the first was a picasso museum. it's located on the sea (litterally) in a chateau (castle) which used to belong to the Gribaldi family (the royal family of monaco). he lived and painted there for an extended period of time in the early to mid 20th century. so that was pretty much the best thing that ever happened to me, considering my immence fascination with him. there was also an exhibition of art by nicolas de stael, a russian-french painter of the 50s. i'm really into him now as well. bought a couple of very pretentious art books on the two of them. and guess what? they're written in french. of course i would do something like that. mostly i can't wait to set them up in my apt and have other people marvel at how smart and cultured i am. anyway, the other museum housed a lot of modern art that was pretty badass. they had some stuff by marc chagall, who i think did one of the windows of the chicago art institude. anyway, he's most definitely worth looking up, among others, who i can't remember at the moment.
oh damn, i've got to run. we're going downtown now to visit the local porn shop. one of the girls has a friend who insisted that she buy him a gift. we will finish this lecture in french, spanish, and catalan art another time...
je vous manque!
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
mood: hazaa!
music: none asshole, im in the library
okay, the computers here are so strange...the keyboard is almost completely different. forgive any typos.
so, im here.
its amazing.
wish you were here...
and yes, i already have a plethora of sordid tales for you. i have not been behaving myself:
but what else would you expect frome me?
thats what i thought.
cant wait to see you rico
fuck. that was harder than you might think...
music: none asshole, im in the library
okay, the computers here are so strange...the keyboard is almost completely different. forgive any typos.
so, im here.
its amazing.
wish you were here...
and yes, i already have a plethora of sordid tales for you. i have not been behaving myself:
but what else would you expect frome me?
thats what i thought.
cant wait to see you rico
fuck. that was harder than you might think...
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
mood: amazed
music: howie day - the perfect time of day
she sat at the window of the train, her head thrown back . . . the window frame trembled with the speed of the motion, . . . and dots of light splashed across the glass as luminous streaks . . . she thought: for just a few moments - while this lasts - it's all right to surrender completely . . . she thought: let go - drop the control - this is it.
ayn rand, atlas shrugged
--time to fly.
music: howie day - the perfect time of day
she sat at the window of the train, her head thrown back . . . the window frame trembled with the speed of the motion, . . . and dots of light splashed across the glass as luminous streaks . . . she thought: for just a few moments - while this lasts - it's all right to surrender completely . . . she thought: let go - drop the control - this is it.
ayn rand, atlas shrugged
--time to fly.
Monday, June 20, 2005
mood: boggled
music: frou frou - breathe
(sorry this post is so incredibly scatterbrained...i will strive for my usual high standard of elequence and wit henceforth)
so i guess this has become my travel blog. oh my, that's crazy.
well last night i had my official pre-trip freak out/break down. i just got so overwhelmed with the last minute ends that i needed to tie up (not to mention one of my friends was being a complete asshole). so i called and cried to mother ... "blah, blah, blah, i can't do this. i just want to jump on a train and come home." ah, to be coddled and pittied for my immense pain and insecurity for the rest of the summer.
after speaking to several of my cohorts who are either on study abroad programs or who have recently returned from them, this is perfectly normal. much to my delight, i am not a complete and total freak of nature: oh, boo, i get to go live out one of your dreams while still in college...my life sucks.
in any event, the gravity of this has just begun to set in. saying goodbyes, finishing packing. i'm actually doing this. it's not joke any more. no longer a passing whim...
and suddenly i realize that i've never been more thankful to be alive.
music: frou frou - breathe
(sorry this post is so incredibly scatterbrained...i will strive for my usual high standard of elequence and wit henceforth)
so i guess this has become my travel blog. oh my, that's crazy.
well last night i had my official pre-trip freak out/break down. i just got so overwhelmed with the last minute ends that i needed to tie up (not to mention one of my friends was being a complete asshole). so i called and cried to mother ... "blah, blah, blah, i can't do this. i just want to jump on a train and come home." ah, to be coddled and pittied for my immense pain and insecurity for the rest of the summer.
after speaking to several of my cohorts who are either on study abroad programs or who have recently returned from them, this is perfectly normal. much to my delight, i am not a complete and total freak of nature: oh, boo, i get to go live out one of your dreams while still in college...my life sucks.
in any event, the gravity of this has just begun to set in. saying goodbyes, finishing packing. i'm actually doing this. it's not joke any more. no longer a passing whim...
and suddenly i realize that i've never been more thankful to be alive.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
mood: excited for my date with o'keefe tonight!
music: coldplay - a message (get this CD, it's brill)
only 5 more days. holy shit.
but until then...
cabin fever: n. -- boredom, restlessness, or irritability that results from a lack of environmental stimulation, as from a prolonged stay in a remote, sparsely populated region or a confined indoor area
stir-crazy: adj. Informal -- distraught or restless from long confinement in or as if in prison
music: coldplay - a message (get this CD, it's brill)
only 5 more days. holy shit.
but until then...
cabin fever: n. -- boredom, restlessness, or irritability that results from a lack of environmental stimulation, as from a prolonged stay in a remote, sparsely populated region or a confined indoor area
stir-crazy: adj. Informal -- distraught or restless from long confinement in or as if in prison
Monday, June 13, 2005
mood: satisfied
music: gwen stefani - cool
An Update Composed of a Series of Non-Sequitors
mmm...that was an awesome weekend.
--so much food.
including a cake made with some sort of liquor and vodka.
now you know that's good.
--and i now have another amazing house in the suburbs to escape to.
thank you, eliska.
mmm...9 days until Europe (could i BE more excited?)
--anita emailed me this morning.
looks like we're doing the french alps instead of naples.
lounge in the ski lodge with a "broken" leg,
and let the men come take care of me.
--monaco is a must.
i don't know how i'm doing it.
but i have decided that i am.
--it occurred to me that oxford university in not necessarily in london.
but in oxford.
this makes things interesting...
mmm...i miss omaha (even though it is a stupid place)
--who would have ever guessed that?
molly, kk, sam, sammie, mayor daub, ruth, rico, metran, abby, mackle, etc.
i really do wish i was coming home before the trip. honest.
mmm...i miss texas.
--as much as i bitched about it in high school, that place really is my heart.
friendly folks and backwards rednecks alike.
what can i say? i'm a displaced southern belle.
someone fetch me a mint julep.
--i may have a visitor from the lone star state in august.
oh yes. get excited.
mmm...so little to do, so much time.
--scratch that.
reverse it.
wow. that was scatterbrained.
gotta get off the black-tar heroin.
music: gwen stefani - cool
An Update Composed of a Series of Non-Sequitors
mmm...that was an awesome weekend.
--so much food.
including a cake made with some sort of liquor and vodka.
now you know that's good.
--and i now have another amazing house in the suburbs to escape to.
thank you, eliska.
mmm...9 days until Europe (could i BE more excited?)
--anita emailed me this morning.
looks like we're doing the french alps instead of naples.
lounge in the ski lodge with a "broken" leg,
and let the men come take care of me.
--monaco is a must.
i don't know how i'm doing it.
but i have decided that i am.
--it occurred to me that oxford university in not necessarily in london.
but in oxford.
this makes things interesting...
mmm...i miss omaha (even though it is a stupid place)
--who would have ever guessed that?
molly, kk, sam, sammie, mayor daub, ruth, rico, metran, abby, mackle, etc.
i really do wish i was coming home before the trip. honest.
mmm...i miss texas.
--as much as i bitched about it in high school, that place really is my heart.
friendly folks and backwards rednecks alike.
what can i say? i'm a displaced southern belle.
someone fetch me a mint julep.
--i may have a visitor from the lone star state in august.
oh yes. get excited.
mmm...so little to do, so much time.
--scratch that.
reverse it.
wow. that was scatterbrained.
gotta get off the black-tar heroin.
Friday, June 10, 2005
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
mood: hopeful
music: jack johnson - never know
this trip. this massive, all-encompassing, daunting trip. planning it has been one of the most frustrating things i have yet attempted in my short 20 years. i have and continue to make tremendous sacrifices to engingeer and execute this endeavor. (my latest sacrifice, i am sad to say, is that i will not be returning to omaha before my departure.)and with so much as yet unsettled, i occasionally feel as if it's not real -- as if this is some charade in which i have been unknowingly tricked into participating. there exists some phantom of a shadow in my mind that on june 21 i will not, in fact, board a plane to london, lunch with ian between airport transfers, continue on my flight to rome, spend a week exploring the mediterranean coast with anita, bask in 3 weeks of submersion into french language and culture, play in paris alone for a week, spend about 10 days getting to know oxford and reacquainting myself with the one and only rico suave in an international setting, and finally board a plane home to chicago as a completely different person.
my fear is that i will - as per usual - wake up around 9 am (because the windows that provide the intringuing artistic view from my room also make it insufferably warm), and do a great deal of nothing. left only with the lingering feelings of those sacrifces i endured along with the vague memory of all that i had planned. and all the time wondering where my beautiful illusion evaporated to.
in all reality i am merely fearful. because i have never known such wonderful circumstance in my life (ALL aspects of my life) before - such awe-inspiring opportunities. certainly this is somewhat reminiscent of the brooding undertones of the feelings surrounding impending marriage.
i've got cold feet.
that's all.
music: jack johnson - never know
this trip. this massive, all-encompassing, daunting trip. planning it has been one of the most frustrating things i have yet attempted in my short 20 years. i have and continue to make tremendous sacrifices to engingeer and execute this endeavor. (my latest sacrifice, i am sad to say, is that i will not be returning to omaha before my departure.)and with so much as yet unsettled, i occasionally feel as if it's not real -- as if this is some charade in which i have been unknowingly tricked into participating. there exists some phantom of a shadow in my mind that on june 21 i will not, in fact, board a plane to london, lunch with ian between airport transfers, continue on my flight to rome, spend a week exploring the mediterranean coast with anita, bask in 3 weeks of submersion into french language and culture, play in paris alone for a week, spend about 10 days getting to know oxford and reacquainting myself with the one and only rico suave in an international setting, and finally board a plane home to chicago as a completely different person.
my fear is that i will - as per usual - wake up around 9 am (because the windows that provide the intringuing artistic view from my room also make it insufferably warm), and do a great deal of nothing. left only with the lingering feelings of those sacrifces i endured along with the vague memory of all that i had planned. and all the time wondering where my beautiful illusion evaporated to.
in all reality i am merely fearful. because i have never known such wonderful circumstance in my life (ALL aspects of my life) before - such awe-inspiring opportunities. certainly this is somewhat reminiscent of the brooding undertones of the feelings surrounding impending marriage.
i've got cold feet.
that's all.
Friday, June 03, 2005
Saturday, May 28, 2005
mood: doing the saturday thing with the boys...
music: jack johnson - belle
i think this is the best summer ever.
period.
much love to all my bellas who are abroad right now...
hope you are having the time of your lives --
i will be joining you soon!
hey, o-towners, i'll be back on june 14th for a week before europe.
let's make it count, shall we?
music: jack johnson - belle
i think this is the best summer ever.
period.
much love to all my bellas who are abroad right now...
hope you are having the time of your lives --
i will be joining you soon!
hey, o-towners, i'll be back on june 14th for a week before europe.
let's make it count, shall we?
Sunday, May 15, 2005
mood: peace
music: jack johnson - on and on
it is 8 in the morning. i am moving out today. i am done.
this year has been crazy.
the most emotionally draining. the most emotionally rewarding.
guess the two are complicated.
so now we begin again. new chapter et. al.
junior status means i'm halfway done with college.
but didn't i just get this figured out?
that's cool though, i'm into beginnings. and sometimes endings, too...
closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
music: jack johnson - on and on
it is 8 in the morning. i am moving out today. i am done.
this year has been crazy.
the most emotionally draining. the most emotionally rewarding.
guess the two are complicated.
so now we begin again. new chapter et. al.
junior status means i'm halfway done with college.
but didn't i just get this figured out?
that's cool though, i'm into beginnings. and sometimes endings, too...
closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
mood: eep!
music: the shins - new slang
my roommate just brought to my attention the fact that tomorrow is my last day of class.
joy. pure, unadulterated joy.
a little terror as well.
i have too much to do.
not enough time to do it.
same old same old.
and i'm sick. ever so sick.
same old same old.
and i desperately wish someone could be my calm during this storm...
but i'm alive.
and in love.
and that may be just enough to see me through.
music: the shins - new slang
my roommate just brought to my attention the fact that tomorrow is my last day of class.
joy. pure, unadulterated joy.
a little terror as well.
i have too much to do.
not enough time to do it.
same old same old.
and i'm sick. ever so sick.
same old same old.
and i desperately wish someone could be my calm during this storm...
but i'm alive.
and in love.
and that may be just enough to see me through.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
mood: ?
music: daniel powter - bad day
where is the moment we needed the most?
you kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
they tell me your blue sky's faded to gray
they tell me your passion's gone away
and i don't need no carryin on
you stand in the line just to hit a new low
you're faking a smile with the coffee you go
you tell me your life's been way off line
you're falling to pieces everytime
and i don't need no carryin on
cause you had a bad day
you're taking one down
you sing a sad song just to turn it around
you say you don't know
you tell me don't lie
you work at a smile and you go for a ride
you had a bad day
the camera don't lie
you're coming back down and you really don't mind
you had a bad day
you had a bad day
well you need a blue sky holiday
the point is they laugh at what you say
and i don't need no carryin on
you had a bad day
you're taking one down
you sing a sad song just to turn it around
you say you don't know
you tell me don't lie
you work at a smile and you go for a ride
you had a bad day
the camera don't lie
you're coming back down and you really don't mind
you had a bad day
sometimes the system goes on the blink
and the whole thing, it turns out wrong
you might not make it back
and you know that you could be that strong
well i'm not wrong
so where is the passion when you need it the most?
oh you and i
you kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
cause you had a bad day
you're taking one down
you sing a sad song just to turn it around
you say you don't know
you tell me don't lie
you work at a smile and you go for a ride
you had a bad day
you see what you like
and how does it feel for one more time?
you had a bad day
you had a bad day...
oh i don't know. it's kind of a crazy idea. but i feel like i've been running. running away mostly.
and now maybe i can slow down.
and now maybe i can stop.
maybe.
music: daniel powter - bad day
where is the moment we needed the most?
you kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
they tell me your blue sky's faded to gray
they tell me your passion's gone away
and i don't need no carryin on
you stand in the line just to hit a new low
you're faking a smile with the coffee you go
you tell me your life's been way off line
you're falling to pieces everytime
and i don't need no carryin on
cause you had a bad day
you're taking one down
you sing a sad song just to turn it around
you say you don't know
you tell me don't lie
you work at a smile and you go for a ride
you had a bad day
the camera don't lie
you're coming back down and you really don't mind
you had a bad day
you had a bad day
well you need a blue sky holiday
the point is they laugh at what you say
and i don't need no carryin on
you had a bad day
you're taking one down
you sing a sad song just to turn it around
you say you don't know
you tell me don't lie
you work at a smile and you go for a ride
you had a bad day
the camera don't lie
you're coming back down and you really don't mind
you had a bad day
sometimes the system goes on the blink
and the whole thing, it turns out wrong
you might not make it back
and you know that you could be that strong
well i'm not wrong
so where is the passion when you need it the most?
oh you and i
you kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
cause you had a bad day
you're taking one down
you sing a sad song just to turn it around
you say you don't know
you tell me don't lie
you work at a smile and you go for a ride
you had a bad day
you see what you like
and how does it feel for one more time?
you had a bad day
you had a bad day...
oh i don't know. it's kind of a crazy idea. but i feel like i've been running. running away mostly.
and now maybe i can slow down.
and now maybe i can stop.
maybe.
Monday, May 02, 2005
Thursday, April 28, 2005
mood: relief
music: maroon 5 - she will be loved
when i remember it, i think of it as dancing. dancing with eyes half closed because to open them would break the spell. dancing as if language had surrendered to movement - as if this ritual, this wordless ceremony, was now the way to speak, to whisper private and sacred things, to be in touch with some otherness. dancing as if the very heart of life and all its hopes might be found in those assuaging notes and those hushed rhythms and in those silent and hypnotic movements. dancing as if language no longer existed because words were no longer necessary... ~ dancing at lughnasa (brian friel)
dance with me...
music: maroon 5 - she will be loved
when i remember it, i think of it as dancing. dancing with eyes half closed because to open them would break the spell. dancing as if language had surrendered to movement - as if this ritual, this wordless ceremony, was now the way to speak, to whisper private and sacred things, to be in touch with some otherness. dancing as if the very heart of life and all its hopes might be found in those assuaging notes and those hushed rhythms and in those silent and hypnotic movements. dancing as if language no longer existed because words were no longer necessary... ~ dancing at lughnasa (brian friel)
dance with me...
Sunday, April 24, 2005
mood: brill (HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOLLY!)
music: alanis morissette - head over feet
it came on the radio and all i could do was burst into smiles -
i had no choice but to hear you
you stated your case time and again
i thought about it
you treat me like i'm a princess
i'm not used to liking that
you ask how my day was
you've already won me over
in spite of me
and don't be alarmed if i fall head over feet
and don't be surprised if i love you for all that you are
i couldn't help it
it's all your fault
your love is thick - and it swallowed me whole
you're so much braver than i gave you credit for
that's not lip service
you've already won me over
in spite of me
and don't be alarmed if i fall head over feet
and don't be surprised if i love you for all that you are
i couldn't help it
it's all your fault
you are the bearer of unconditional things
you held your breath and the door for me
thanks for your patience
you're the best listener that i've ever met
you're my best friend
best friend with benefits
what took me so long?
i've never felt this healthy before
i've never wanted something rational
i am aware now
i am aware now
you've already won me over
in spite of me
and don't be alarmed if i fall head over feet
and don't be surprised if i love you for all that you are
i couldn't help it
it's all your fault...
i have a feeling a couple of you out there know what i mean.
music: alanis morissette - head over feet
it came on the radio and all i could do was burst into smiles -
i had no choice but to hear you
you stated your case time and again
i thought about it
you treat me like i'm a princess
i'm not used to liking that
you ask how my day was
you've already won me over
in spite of me
and don't be alarmed if i fall head over feet
and don't be surprised if i love you for all that you are
i couldn't help it
it's all your fault
your love is thick - and it swallowed me whole
you're so much braver than i gave you credit for
that's not lip service
you've already won me over
in spite of me
and don't be alarmed if i fall head over feet
and don't be surprised if i love you for all that you are
i couldn't help it
it's all your fault
you are the bearer of unconditional things
you held your breath and the door for me
thanks for your patience
you're the best listener that i've ever met
you're my best friend
best friend with benefits
what took me so long?
i've never felt this healthy before
i've never wanted something rational
i am aware now
i am aware now
you've already won me over
in spite of me
and don't be alarmed if i fall head over feet
and don't be surprised if i love you for all that you are
i couldn't help it
it's all your fault...
i have a feeling a couple of you out there know what i mean.
Friday, April 22, 2005
mood: what happened to the nice weather?
music: ben jelen - come on
you know what's superb?
the fact that my upper respiratory infection kept me from going to class...
but it did not keep me from going to the bar last night!
(where incidentally i ran into megan mckenna, who went to MN...yeah, strange)
i am clearly a truly committed college student.
music: ben jelen - come on
you know what's superb?
the fact that my upper respiratory infection kept me from going to class...
but it did not keep me from going to the bar last night!
(where incidentally i ran into megan mckenna, who went to MN...yeah, strange)
i am clearly a truly committed college student.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
mood: hazaa!
music: ben jelen - come on
i saw a little boy get hit by a car last night. i was out with some friends, and as we were waiting to cross the street he and his friend darted out into the road. his friend made it, but he didn't. the whole thing was bizarre. and i can't tell you how disturbing the sight of it was. and the sound. that awful sound. and calling 911. and having to make him stay until the ambulance came. and talking to the police. the whole thing is just kind of stuck on repeat in my mind. it's unsettling. when i saw it happen, i honestly thought he was dead. but he IS going to be fine. and that's really comforting.
it just put a lot of things into perspective for me.
in other news, the maroon 5 concert is tonight down at the uic pavilion!
so excited.
let's just say that the drinking commences at anna's at 5:00 pm today.
it's gonna be wild.
as wild as last saturday? maybe.
you should remind me to tell you that story sometime...
music: ben jelen - come on
i saw a little boy get hit by a car last night. i was out with some friends, and as we were waiting to cross the street he and his friend darted out into the road. his friend made it, but he didn't. the whole thing was bizarre. and i can't tell you how disturbing the sight of it was. and the sound. that awful sound. and calling 911. and having to make him stay until the ambulance came. and talking to the police. the whole thing is just kind of stuck on repeat in my mind. it's unsettling. when i saw it happen, i honestly thought he was dead. but he IS going to be fine. and that's really comforting.
it just put a lot of things into perspective for me.
in other news, the maroon 5 concert is tonight down at the uic pavilion!
so excited.
let's just say that the drinking commences at anna's at 5:00 pm today.
it's gonna be wild.
as wild as last saturday? maybe.
you should remind me to tell you that story sometime...
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Saturday, April 09, 2005
mood: sleepy
music: tori amos - a sorta fairytale
and i'm so sad
like a good book,
i can't put this day back
a sorta fairytale with you...
printemps est ici!
and the spring collection is in full force.
also. the bake sale is tonight.
(ou est le mauvais herb? il est derierre le garage...)
does it get any better than this?
music: tori amos - a sorta fairytale
and i'm so sad
like a good book,
i can't put this day back
a sorta fairytale with you...
printemps est ici!
and the spring collection is in full force.
also. the bake sale is tonight.
(ou est le mauvais herb? il est derierre le garage...)
does it get any better than this?
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
mood: awe-struck
music: dave matthews band - sattelite
winter's cold - spring erases
and the calm away by the storm is chasen
everything good needs replacing... ~ sattelite
(not sure, what it means, but it sounds pretty in the song and looks pretty on the page, so there you are...)
"i remember one morning, getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility ... i remember thinking, 'this is the beginning of happiness.' that's what i thought.' so this is the feeling. this is where it starts. and of course, there will always be more.' it never occurred to me it wasn't the beginning. it was happiness. it was the moment - right then..." ~ the hours
"...there's so much beauty in the world. sometimes i feel like i'm seeing it all at once and it's too much. my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst; and then i remember to relax and stop trying to hold onto it. and then it flows through me like rain, and i can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment..." ~ american beauty
and i can't help but marvel at how this beautiful and perfect happiness is even possible...
music: dave matthews band - sattelite
winter's cold - spring erases
and the calm away by the storm is chasen
everything good needs replacing... ~ sattelite
(not sure, what it means, but it sounds pretty in the song and looks pretty on the page, so there you are...)
"i remember one morning, getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility ... i remember thinking, 'this is the beginning of happiness.' that's what i thought.' so this is the feeling. this is where it starts. and of course, there will always be more.' it never occurred to me it wasn't the beginning. it was happiness. it was the moment - right then..." ~ the hours
"...there's so much beauty in the world. sometimes i feel like i'm seeing it all at once and it's too much. my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst; and then i remember to relax and stop trying to hold onto it. and then it flows through me like rain, and i can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment..." ~ american beauty
and i can't help but marvel at how this beautiful and perfect happiness is even possible...
Sunday, April 03, 2005
mood: chill
music: bbmak - still on your side (bbmak...swing choir...anybody?)
shopping
foods
liquors
bars
parties
nalgene bottles full of champagne
the beautiful blue hypnotiq
the squirrel master...
body shots?
love
friends
thanks to all who made this such a beautiful birthday. guess it's back to the real world now?
or maybe not.
music: bbmak - still on your side (bbmak...swing choir...anybody?)
shopping
foods
liquors
bars
parties
nalgene bottles full of champagne
the beautiful blue hypnotiq
the squirrel master...
body shots?
love
friends
thanks to all who made this such a beautiful birthday. guess it's back to the real world now?
or maybe not.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Monday, March 28, 2005
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Monday, March 21, 2005
mood: sickly
music: frou frou - let go
birthday countdown - 12 days
drink up baby doll
are you in or are you out?
leave your things behind
cause it's all going off without you
excuse me - too busy, you're writing your tragedy
these mishaps
you bubble-wrap
when you've no idea what you're like
so let go - let go
jump in
oh well, what are you waiting for?
it's all right
cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go - let go
just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's all right
cause there's beauty in the breakdown
it gains the more it gives
and then it rises with the fall
so hand me that remote
can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow?
such boundless pleasure
we've no time for later
now you can't await
your own arrival
you've twenty seconds to comply
so let go - let go
jump in
oh well, what you waiting for?
it's all right
cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go - let go
just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's all right
cause there's beauty in the breakdown...
(p.s. thanks for the weekend. you know who you are...)
music: frou frou - let go
birthday countdown - 12 days
drink up baby doll
are you in or are you out?
leave your things behind
cause it's all going off without you
excuse me - too busy, you're writing your tragedy
these mishaps
you bubble-wrap
when you've no idea what you're like
so let go - let go
jump in
oh well, what are you waiting for?
it's all right
cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go - let go
just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's all right
cause there's beauty in the breakdown
it gains the more it gives
and then it rises with the fall
so hand me that remote
can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow?
such boundless pleasure
we've no time for later
now you can't await
your own arrival
you've twenty seconds to comply
so let go - let go
jump in
oh well, what you waiting for?
it's all right
cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go - let go
just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's all right
cause there's beauty in the breakdown...
(p.s. thanks for the weekend. you know who you are...)
Monday, March 14, 2005
Monday, March 07, 2005
mood: FINE!
music: maroon 5 - sunday morning
so godspell is over. i didn't think it would really matter, especially with how pissed off i was after our 3 and a half hour strike, which coincidentally meant i was in the theatre for 8 hours from call time for the show until we finished taking down the fencing. fuck you mike smallwood, fuck you. i can't wait until i'm an equity actress and i'm not even ALLOWED (by law) to come to strike.
turns out i was actually sad. i miss the shit already. even the miva. at least a little bit. but at least i have the slide show right? (excellent work tobias...)
so spring break is the shit. i haven't done a damn thing aside from bumming around and going out with anna, ian, lisa, and laurence. and you know that's a good time. (sotto voce bitches...hi oh!)
and the highlight of this post: DRUNK DIALS! i got an awesome drunk dial from megan, sam the man, rico suave and adam sinley the other night. i was SO fucking ecstatic. it was incredibly wonderful to talk to a group of my absolute favorites - i can't WAIT to see you kids, whether it's st patty's or europe or some other time.
so...keep the drunk dials coming...
p.s. rico - i love you to death! and if t-money needs to choke a bitch, you know what to do.
music: maroon 5 - sunday morning
so godspell is over. i didn't think it would really matter, especially with how pissed off i was after our 3 and a half hour strike, which coincidentally meant i was in the theatre for 8 hours from call time for the show until we finished taking down the fencing. fuck you mike smallwood, fuck you. i can't wait until i'm an equity actress and i'm not even ALLOWED (by law) to come to strike.
turns out i was actually sad. i miss the shit already. even the miva. at least a little bit. but at least i have the slide show right? (excellent work tobias...)
so spring break is the shit. i haven't done a damn thing aside from bumming around and going out with anna, ian, lisa, and laurence. and you know that's a good time. (sotto voce bitches...hi oh!)
and the highlight of this post: DRUNK DIALS! i got an awesome drunk dial from megan, sam the man, rico suave and adam sinley the other night. i was SO fucking ecstatic. it was incredibly wonderful to talk to a group of my absolute favorites - i can't WAIT to see you kids, whether it's st patty's or europe or some other time.
so...keep the drunk dials coming...
p.s. rico - i love you to death! and if t-money needs to choke a bitch, you know what to do.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
mood: very good
music: UB40 - fools rush in
it's finally march! you don't understand, i HATE the way i write my two's and LOVE the way i write my three's. so march is always a happy time.
godspell opened last night. it's been an incredible and incredibly trying experience, but we've all made it. and once it's over, i can be a real person again with a real life and everything! it's brilliant. totally sotto voce...HI OH! (shout out to my fly bitches)
steve cancelled creative dramatics because his wife went into labor. amen. that means i can study for my philosophy midterm for 5 extra hours.
kk and garret will be here next week!
st patty's day shenanigans are in 2 weeks...yessss...bill, make it happen!
spring break is in 2 days.
molly's coming in april.
when the hell did my life get so awesome?
music: UB40 - fools rush in
it's finally march! you don't understand, i HATE the way i write my two's and LOVE the way i write my three's. so march is always a happy time.
godspell opened last night. it's been an incredible and incredibly trying experience, but we've all made it. and once it's over, i can be a real person again with a real life and everything! it's brilliant. totally sotto voce...HI OH! (shout out to my fly bitches)
steve cancelled creative dramatics because his wife went into labor. amen. that means i can study for my philosophy midterm for 5 extra hours.
kk and garret will be here next week!
st patty's day shenanigans are in 2 weeks...yessss...bill, make it happen!
spring break is in 2 days.
molly's coming in april.
when the hell did my life get so awesome?
Friday, February 25, 2005
mood: sore...the gym kicked my ass today
music: john mayer - message in a bottle
a random update on my random life.
vagina monologues went superbly! we raised over $400 dollars for Rape Victim's Advocates and the V-Day organization. it's a little surreal. i can't quite believe that i was the head honcho in all this. that something i did came together so well, was a hit, and raised money and awareness for a meaningful cause. so y'know...that's cool and shit.
in other news, sam drunk dialed me last night. it was out of control wonderful. we had coherent conversation for like 15 minutes. i loved it. let me just state for the record that i get so excited when you crazy kids drunk dial me. i don't know what it is, but it really just makes my day. so whenever you've had a wild night of partying and you reach for the cell phone...please don't hesitate to call.
what else...oh i got the confirmation email for my study abroad this summer. so i will definitely be hitting france up old school during july. and the rumor mill has informed me that the london trip in june is back on. at this point, it looks like my summer european adventure is a go. now let's just pray that all these crazy money things fall in line. and if any of you crazy kids will be abroad then it is mandatory that we hook up somewhere along the way and get wasted on a different continent. bill - you know what's up.
um...on a quick note, looks like i will be partying it up in toronto for spring break and in minneapolis for st patty's. yeah, sammie, i totally worked it out. the next three weeks of my life are about to be the shit! don't be jealous...
also, i love you megan glover. no particular reason. i just love you girl.
music: john mayer - message in a bottle
a random update on my random life.
vagina monologues went superbly! we raised over $400 dollars for Rape Victim's Advocates and the V-Day organization. it's a little surreal. i can't quite believe that i was the head honcho in all this. that something i did came together so well, was a hit, and raised money and awareness for a meaningful cause. so y'know...that's cool and shit.
in other news, sam drunk dialed me last night. it was out of control wonderful. we had coherent conversation for like 15 minutes. i loved it. let me just state for the record that i get so excited when you crazy kids drunk dial me. i don't know what it is, but it really just makes my day. so whenever you've had a wild night of partying and you reach for the cell phone...please don't hesitate to call.
what else...oh i got the confirmation email for my study abroad this summer. so i will definitely be hitting france up old school during july. and the rumor mill has informed me that the london trip in june is back on. at this point, it looks like my summer european adventure is a go. now let's just pray that all these crazy money things fall in line. and if any of you crazy kids will be abroad then it is mandatory that we hook up somewhere along the way and get wasted on a different continent. bill - you know what's up.
um...on a quick note, looks like i will be partying it up in toronto for spring break and in minneapolis for st patty's. yeah, sammie, i totally worked it out. the next three weeks of my life are about to be the shit! don't be jealous...
also, i love you megan glover. no particular reason. i just love you girl.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
mood: angry
music: bare naked ladies - pinch me
anxiety - the vagina monologues, godspell, study abroad, money things
frustration - lauren...honestly, i need some major time away from you right now
confusion - the boy
ever feel like your life doesn't quite make sense - like it's almost there, but falls just short?
music: bare naked ladies - pinch me
anxiety - the vagina monologues, godspell, study abroad, money things
frustration - lauren...honestly, i need some major time away from you right now
confusion - the boy
ever feel like your life doesn't quite make sense - like it's almost there, but falls just short?
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Saturday, February 12, 2005
mood: good (chang drunk dialed me last night and it was brilliant - i loved it!)
music: death cab for cutie - death of an interior decorator
somewhere along the line i was alerted to the fact that valentine's day is on monday. had i actually forgotten that it was coming? oh yes. i have repressed this holiday so far into my subconcious that i have no functioning memory of what i have done on valentine's days past. with the exception of the party i had junior year when no couples were allowed to come and we posted a sign on the front door as a directive to adam rowings which read, "no guitars permitted beyond this point."
i don't want this holiday. i don't want it at all. can't we just skip all the bullshit? i've never had a legitimate valentine in the past, i don't have one now, and i lack the energy to seek one out. and all the confusion (which some of you may be aware of) of the past couple of weeks isn't making anything easier. so why can't we just call it February 14th this year? i've given up on the whole damn thing. i don't even want it around for the sake of pouting and bemoaning my woeful state of affairs. and you know that's sad if i'm not even interested in complaining about it...
so either someone's going to have to be my valentine and say/do something extraordinarliy wonderful, or i'm not going to even acknowledge the day's existence god damnit. and if i should see any pda on campus...i might just set someone on fire...and not in the good way.
on the positive side, i'm going to go get drunk as shit at jill's anti-valentine's day party.
and dance my ass off.
and probably make out with someone.
so maybe it's not so bad after all.
music: death cab for cutie - death of an interior decorator
somewhere along the line i was alerted to the fact that valentine's day is on monday. had i actually forgotten that it was coming? oh yes. i have repressed this holiday so far into my subconcious that i have no functioning memory of what i have done on valentine's days past. with the exception of the party i had junior year when no couples were allowed to come and we posted a sign on the front door as a directive to adam rowings which read, "no guitars permitted beyond this point."
i don't want this holiday. i don't want it at all. can't we just skip all the bullshit? i've never had a legitimate valentine in the past, i don't have one now, and i lack the energy to seek one out. and all the confusion (which some of you may be aware of) of the past couple of weeks isn't making anything easier. so why can't we just call it February 14th this year? i've given up on the whole damn thing. i don't even want it around for the sake of pouting and bemoaning my woeful state of affairs. and you know that's sad if i'm not even interested in complaining about it...
so either someone's going to have to be my valentine and say/do something extraordinarliy wonderful, or i'm not going to even acknowledge the day's existence god damnit. and if i should see any pda on campus...i might just set someone on fire...and not in the good way.
on the positive side, i'm going to go get drunk as shit at jill's anti-valentine's day party.
and dance my ass off.
and probably make out with someone.
so maybe it's not so bad after all.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
mood: sometimes talking to bill makes me happy
music: death cab for cutie
fine, i give in. i'm really against these things you know. and my good judgement is telling me to hold to my pretentious morals. but what the hell...
[1] Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
[2] I will then tell you what song[s] remind me of you.
[3] Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise.
[4] Last, I will try to come up with a single word that best describes you.
[5] Put this in your journal.
i'm going to regret this in the morning. but i guess that happens a lot in college doesn't it?
music: death cab for cutie
fine, i give in. i'm really against these things you know. and my good judgement is telling me to hold to my pretentious morals. but what the hell...
[1] Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
[2] I will then tell you what song[s] remind me of you.
[3] Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise.
[4] Last, I will try to come up with a single word that best describes you.
[5] Put this in your journal.
i'm going to regret this in the morning. but i guess that happens a lot in college doesn't it?
Sunday, February 06, 2005
mood: goodness
music: cyndi lauper - time after time
alphaville - forever young (this is the first song they play at the dance in napoleon dynamite - it makes me laugh)
let's dance in style
let's dance for a while
heaven can wait, we're only watching the skies
hoping for the best but expecting the worst
are you gonna drop the bomb or not?
let us die young or let us live forever
we don't have the power but we never say never
sitting in a sandpit
life is a short trip
the music's for the sad men
can you imagine when this race is won?
turn our golden faces into the sun
praising our leaders
we're gettng in tune
the music's played by the mad men
forever young
i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever?
forever and ever
forever young
i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever?
forever young
some are like water
some are like heat
some are a melody and some are the beat
sooner or later they all will be gone
why don't they stay young?
it's so hard to get old without a cause
i don't want to perish like a fading horse
youth's diamonds in the sun
and diamonds are forever
so many adventures couldn't happen today
so many songs we forgot to play
so many dreams swinging out of the blue
we let them come true
forever young, i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever?
forever and ever
forever young, i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever?
forever and ever
forever young
i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever?
music: cyndi lauper - time after time
alphaville - forever young (this is the first song they play at the dance in napoleon dynamite - it makes me laugh)
let's dance in style
let's dance for a while
heaven can wait, we're only watching the skies
hoping for the best but expecting the worst
are you gonna drop the bomb or not?
let us die young or let us live forever
we don't have the power but we never say never
sitting in a sandpit
life is a short trip
the music's for the sad men
can you imagine when this race is won?
turn our golden faces into the sun
praising our leaders
we're gettng in tune
the music's played by the mad men
forever young
i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever?
forever and ever
forever young
i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever?
forever young
some are like water
some are like heat
some are a melody and some are the beat
sooner or later they all will be gone
why don't they stay young?
it's so hard to get old without a cause
i don't want to perish like a fading horse
youth's diamonds in the sun
and diamonds are forever
so many adventures couldn't happen today
so many songs we forgot to play
so many dreams swinging out of the blue
we let them come true
forever young, i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever?
forever and ever
forever young, i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever?
forever and ever
forever young
i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever?
mood: bored
john mayer - neon
changed the title. i think this suits me better. get off my island was a reflection of who i was in high school, who i was in omaha. and i'm just not that person any more. it's not really a big deal i guess. just amusing that i would feel like i needed to rename something as silly as my blog in order for it to suit me. whatever.
life? right now i feel grounded, yet restless. happy, yet discontent. i realize that i am love with so many aspects of my life:
1. the godspell process that drives me crazy
2. the insane schedule i keep (41 hours of committment/week - not including homework, lab, sleep, eating, or miscellaneous things i have to do for those committments outside of meeting time)
3. the ridiculous courseload with which i burden myself
4. the overwhelming responsibilities i willingly take on without second thoughts
5. my incredibly frustrating chicago friends that i simply adore
6. the lofty plans i have for the near future (a summer in europe and whatnot)
7. my realization over christmas break that i never had A best friend in omaha - i had like 10
8. the new amazing people that have come into my life in the past couple of months
9. the one person in my life who constantly and consistently understands me (you probably know who you are. and if you don't, then i've let you down somewhere along the way by not telling you so)
and yet, there's this desire to get up and leave it all. talking to clayton the other day reminded how much i wanted to stay in france while i was there. i can't tell you how close i was to getting off of the bus in the middle of downtown lyon at 6 am with josh and just starting a new life. i know i sound ridiculous. but that's one of the most honest things i've said (or typed as the case may be) in the last year. so i guess i'm resigned to going back for the summer. until then, the little things are certainly nice to have around.
alright, playboy of the western world is just begging to be read. i concede playboy, i concede.
whatever and ever, amen.
john mayer - neon
changed the title. i think this suits me better. get off my island was a reflection of who i was in high school, who i was in omaha. and i'm just not that person any more. it's not really a big deal i guess. just amusing that i would feel like i needed to rename something as silly as my blog in order for it to suit me. whatever.
life? right now i feel grounded, yet restless. happy, yet discontent. i realize that i am love with so many aspects of my life:
1. the godspell process that drives me crazy
2. the insane schedule i keep (41 hours of committment/week - not including homework, lab, sleep, eating, or miscellaneous things i have to do for those committments outside of meeting time)
3. the ridiculous courseload with which i burden myself
4. the overwhelming responsibilities i willingly take on without second thoughts
5. my incredibly frustrating chicago friends that i simply adore
6. the lofty plans i have for the near future (a summer in europe and whatnot)
7. my realization over christmas break that i never had A best friend in omaha - i had like 10
8. the new amazing people that have come into my life in the past couple of months
9. the one person in my life who constantly and consistently understands me (you probably know who you are. and if you don't, then i've let you down somewhere along the way by not telling you so)
and yet, there's this desire to get up and leave it all. talking to clayton the other day reminded how much i wanted to stay in france while i was there. i can't tell you how close i was to getting off of the bus in the middle of downtown lyon at 6 am with josh and just starting a new life. i know i sound ridiculous. but that's one of the most honest things i've said (or typed as the case may be) in the last year. so i guess i'm resigned to going back for the summer. until then, the little things are certainly nice to have around.
alright, playboy of the western world is just begging to be read. i concede playboy, i concede.
whatever and ever, amen.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
mood: excited
music: snow patrol - final straw
death cab for cutie - passenger seat
i roll the window down and then begin to breathe in
the darkest country road
and the strong scent of evergreen
from the passenger seat as you are driving me home
then looking upwards i strain my eyes and try
to tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
from the passenger seat as you are driving me home
"do they collide?"
i ask and you smile
with my feet on the dash
the world doesn't matter
when you feel embarassed i'll be your pride
when you need directions i'll be the guide
for all time
for all time...
death cab for cutie - a lack of color
and when i see you
i really see you upside down
but my brain knows better
it picks you up and turns you around
turns you around
turns you around
if you feel discouraged
that there's a lack of color here
please don't worry lover
it's really bursting at the seams
absorbing everything
the spectrum's a to z
this is fact not fiction for the first time in years
and all the girls in every girly magazine
can't make me feel any less alone
i'm reaching for the phone
to call at 7:03
and on your machine i slur a plea for you to come home
but i know it's too late
and i should have given you a reason to stay
given you a reason to stay
given you a reason to stay
given you a reason to stay
this is fact not fiction for the first time in years...
music: snow patrol - final straw
death cab for cutie - passenger seat
i roll the window down and then begin to breathe in
the darkest country road
and the strong scent of evergreen
from the passenger seat as you are driving me home
then looking upwards i strain my eyes and try
to tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
from the passenger seat as you are driving me home
"do they collide?"
i ask and you smile
with my feet on the dash
the world doesn't matter
when you feel embarassed i'll be your pride
when you need directions i'll be the guide
for all time
for all time...
death cab for cutie - a lack of color
and when i see you
i really see you upside down
but my brain knows better
it picks you up and turns you around
turns you around
turns you around
if you feel discouraged
that there's a lack of color here
please don't worry lover
it's really bursting at the seams
absorbing everything
the spectrum's a to z
this is fact not fiction for the first time in years
and all the girls in every girly magazine
can't make me feel any less alone
i'm reaching for the phone
to call at 7:03
and on your machine i slur a plea for you to come home
but i know it's too late
and i should have given you a reason to stay
given you a reason to stay
given you a reason to stay
given you a reason to stay
this is fact not fiction for the first time in years...
Friday, February 04, 2005
mood: swell
music: snow patrol - final straw
franz ferdinand - matinee
you take your white finger
slide the nail under the top and bottoms of my blazer
relax the fraying wool, slacken ties
and i'm not to look at you in the shoes, but the eyes
find me and follow me
through corridors, refectories, and files
you must follow me
leave this academic factory
and find me in the matinee
the dark of the matinee
it's better in the matinee
the dark of the matinee is mine
yes its mine
i time every journey to bump into you accidentally
i charm you and tell of the boys i hate
all the girls i hate
all the words i hate
all the clothes i hate
how i'll never be anything i hate
you smile, mention something that you like
or how you'd have a happy life
if you did the things you like
find me and follow me
through corridors, refectories, and files
you must follow me
leave this academic factory
and find me in the matinee
the dark of the matinee
it's better in the matinee
the dark of the matinee is mine
yes it's mine
so i'm on BBC tonight
telling terry wogan how i made it
and what i made is unclear now
but his deference is
and his laughter is
my words and smile are so easy now
yes it's easy now
yes it's easy now
find me and follow me
through corridors, refectories, and files
you must follow me
leave this academic factory
and find me in the matinee
the dark of the matinee
it's better in the matinee
the dark of the matinee is mine
yest it's mine...
music: snow patrol - final straw
franz ferdinand - matinee
you take your white finger
slide the nail under the top and bottoms of my blazer
relax the fraying wool, slacken ties
and i'm not to look at you in the shoes, but the eyes
find me and follow me
through corridors, refectories, and files
you must follow me
leave this academic factory
and find me in the matinee
the dark of the matinee
it's better in the matinee
the dark of the matinee is mine
yes its mine
i time every journey to bump into you accidentally
i charm you and tell of the boys i hate
all the girls i hate
all the words i hate
all the clothes i hate
how i'll never be anything i hate
you smile, mention something that you like
or how you'd have a happy life
if you did the things you like
find me and follow me
through corridors, refectories, and files
you must follow me
leave this academic factory
and find me in the matinee
the dark of the matinee
it's better in the matinee
the dark of the matinee is mine
yes it's mine
so i'm on BBC tonight
telling terry wogan how i made it
and what i made is unclear now
but his deference is
and his laughter is
my words and smile are so easy now
yes it's easy now
yes it's easy now
find me and follow me
through corridors, refectories, and files
you must follow me
leave this academic factory
and find me in the matinee
the dark of the matinee
it's better in the matinee
the dark of the matinee is mine
yest it's mine...
Thursday, February 03, 2005
mood: seriously...
music: ace of base - the sign
snow patrol - chocolate
this could be the very minute
i'm aware i'm alive
all these places feel like home
with a name i'd never chosen
i can make my first steps as a child of 25
this is the straw
final straw in the roof of my mouth
as i lie to you
just because i'm sorry doesn't mean
i didn't enjoy it at the time
you're the only thing that i love
scares me more everyday
on my knees i think clearer
goodness knows i saw it coming
or at least i'll claim i did
but, in truth, i'm lost for words
what have i done?
it's too late for that
what have i become?
truth is nothing yet
a simple mistake starts the hardest time
i promise i'll do anything you ask
this time...
music: ace of base - the sign
snow patrol - chocolate
this could be the very minute
i'm aware i'm alive
all these places feel like home
with a name i'd never chosen
i can make my first steps as a child of 25
this is the straw
final straw in the roof of my mouth
as i lie to you
just because i'm sorry doesn't mean
i didn't enjoy it at the time
you're the only thing that i love
scares me more everyday
on my knees i think clearer
goodness knows i saw it coming
or at least i'll claim i did
but, in truth, i'm lost for words
what have i done?
it's too late for that
what have i become?
truth is nothing yet
a simple mistake starts the hardest time
i promise i'll do anything you ask
this time...
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
mood: we're getting a new roommate?
music: no doubt - sunday morning
can't stop - red hot chilli peppers
can't stop - addicted to the shindig
chop chop, he says i'm gonna win big
choose not a life of imitation
distant cousin to the reservation
defunkt the pistol that you pay for
this punk - the feeling that you stay for
in time i want to be your best friend
eastside love is living on the west end
knocked out, but boy you better come to
don't die you know the truth is some do
go write your message on the pavement
burn so bright i wonder what the wave meant
white heat is screaming in the jungle
complete the motion if you stumble
go ask the dust for any answers
come back strong with 50 belly dancers
the world i love
the tears i drop
to be part of the wave - can't stop
ever wonder if it's all for you
the world i love
the trains i hop
to be part of the wave - can't stop
come and tell me when it's time to
sweetheart is bleeding in the snowcone
so smart she's leading me to ozone
music the great communicator
use two sticks to make it in the nature
i'll get you into penetration
the gender of a generation
the birth of every other nation
worth your weight - the gold of meditation
this chapter's gonna be a close one
smoke rings - i know you're gonna blow one
all on a spaceship perserveering
use my hands for everything but steering
can't stop the spirits when they need you
mop tops are happy when they feed you
j. butterfly is in the treetop
birds that blow the meaning into be-bop
the world i love
the tears i drop
to be part of the wave - can't stop
ever wonder if its all for you
the world i love
the trains i hop
to be part of the wave - can't stop
come and tell me when it's time to
wait a minute - i'm passing out win or lose
just like you
far more shocking than anything i ever knew
how about you
10 more reasons when i need somebody new
just like you
far more shocking than anything i ever knew
right on cue
can't stop - addicted to the shindig
chop chop he says i'm gonna win big
choose not a life of imitation
distant cousin to the reservation
defunkt the pistol that you pay for
this punk - the feeling that you stay for
in time i want to be your best friend
eastside love is living on the westend
knocked out, but boy you better come to
don't die you know the truth is some do
go write your message on the pavement
burn so bright i wonder what the wave meant
kick start the golden generator
sweet talk, but don't intimidate her
can't stop the gods from engineering
feel no need for any interfering
your image in the dictionary
this life is more than ordinary
can i get 2 maybe even 3 of these
comin from space to teach you of the pliedes
can't stop the spirits when they need you
this life is more than just a readthrough...
music: no doubt - sunday morning
can't stop - red hot chilli peppers
can't stop - addicted to the shindig
chop chop, he says i'm gonna win big
choose not a life of imitation
distant cousin to the reservation
defunkt the pistol that you pay for
this punk - the feeling that you stay for
in time i want to be your best friend
eastside love is living on the west end
knocked out, but boy you better come to
don't die you know the truth is some do
go write your message on the pavement
burn so bright i wonder what the wave meant
white heat is screaming in the jungle
complete the motion if you stumble
go ask the dust for any answers
come back strong with 50 belly dancers
the world i love
the tears i drop
to be part of the wave - can't stop
ever wonder if it's all for you
the world i love
the trains i hop
to be part of the wave - can't stop
come and tell me when it's time to
sweetheart is bleeding in the snowcone
so smart she's leading me to ozone
music the great communicator
use two sticks to make it in the nature
i'll get you into penetration
the gender of a generation
the birth of every other nation
worth your weight - the gold of meditation
this chapter's gonna be a close one
smoke rings - i know you're gonna blow one
all on a spaceship perserveering
use my hands for everything but steering
can't stop the spirits when they need you
mop tops are happy when they feed you
j. butterfly is in the treetop
birds that blow the meaning into be-bop
the world i love
the tears i drop
to be part of the wave - can't stop
ever wonder if its all for you
the world i love
the trains i hop
to be part of the wave - can't stop
come and tell me when it's time to
wait a minute - i'm passing out win or lose
just like you
far more shocking than anything i ever knew
how about you
10 more reasons when i need somebody new
just like you
far more shocking than anything i ever knew
right on cue
can't stop - addicted to the shindig
chop chop he says i'm gonna win big
choose not a life of imitation
distant cousin to the reservation
defunkt the pistol that you pay for
this punk - the feeling that you stay for
in time i want to be your best friend
eastside love is living on the westend
knocked out, but boy you better come to
don't die you know the truth is some do
go write your message on the pavement
burn so bright i wonder what the wave meant
kick start the golden generator
sweet talk, but don't intimidate her
can't stop the gods from engineering
feel no need for any interfering
your image in the dictionary
this life is more than ordinary
can i get 2 maybe even 3 of these
comin from space to teach you of the pliedes
can't stop the spirits when they need you
this life is more than just a readthrough...
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
mood: who knows
music: des'ree
oasis - don't look back in anger
slip inside the eye of your mind
don't you know you might find
a better place to play
you said that you'd once never been
all the things that you've seen
will slowly fade away
so i'll start the revolution from my bed
cause you said the brains i had went to my head
step outside the summertime's in bloom
stand up beside the fireplace
take that look from off your face
you ain't never gonna burn my heart out
so sally can wait
she knows it's too late
as we're walking on by
her soul slides away
but don't look back in anger
i heard you say
take me to the place where you go
where nobody knows if it's night or day
please don't put your life in the hands of a rock and roll band
who'll throw it all away
so i'll start the revolution from my bed
cause you said the brains i had went to my head
step outside the revolution's in bloom
stand up beside the fireplace
take that look from off your face
you ain't never gonna burn my heart out
so sally can wait
she knows it's too late
as we're walking on by
her soul slides away
but don't look back in anger
i heard you say
don't look back in anger
don't look back in anger
don't look back in anger
i heard you say
at least not today...
music: des'ree
oasis - don't look back in anger
slip inside the eye of your mind
don't you know you might find
a better place to play
you said that you'd once never been
all the things that you've seen
will slowly fade away
so i'll start the revolution from my bed
cause you said the brains i had went to my head
step outside the summertime's in bloom
stand up beside the fireplace
take that look from off your face
you ain't never gonna burn my heart out
so sally can wait
she knows it's too late
as we're walking on by
her soul slides away
but don't look back in anger
i heard you say
take me to the place where you go
where nobody knows if it's night or day
please don't put your life in the hands of a rock and roll band
who'll throw it all away
so i'll start the revolution from my bed
cause you said the brains i had went to my head
step outside the revolution's in bloom
stand up beside the fireplace
take that look from off your face
you ain't never gonna burn my heart out
so sally can wait
she knows it's too late
as we're walking on by
her soul slides away
but don't look back in anger
i heard you say
don't look back in anger
don't look back in anger
don't look back in anger
i heard you say
at least not today...
Monday, January 31, 2005
mood: blah
music: nsync?
semisonic - closing time
closing time
open all the doors and let you out into the world
closing time
turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl
closing time
one last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer
closing time
you don't have to go home but you can't stay here
i know who i want to take me home
i know who i want to take me home
i know who i want to take me home
take me home
closing time
time for you to go out to the places you will be from
closing time
this room won't be open till your brothers or your sisters come
so gather up your jackets - move it to the exits
i hope you have found a friend
closing time
every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end
i know who i want to take me home
i know who i want to take me home
i know who i want to take me home
take me home
closing time
every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...
music: nsync?
semisonic - closing time
closing time
open all the doors and let you out into the world
closing time
turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl
closing time
one last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer
closing time
you don't have to go home but you can't stay here
i know who i want to take me home
i know who i want to take me home
i know who i want to take me home
take me home
closing time
time for you to go out to the places you will be from
closing time
this room won't be open till your brothers or your sisters come
so gather up your jackets - move it to the exits
i hope you have found a friend
closing time
every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end
i know who i want to take me home
i know who i want to take me home
i know who i want to take me home
take me home
closing time
every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...
Sunday, January 30, 2005
mood: ho-hum
music: songs for a new world
jamie cullum - twentysomething
after years of expensive education
a car full of books and anticipation
i'm an expert on Shakespeare and that's a hell of a lot
but the world don't need scholars as much as i thought
maybe i'll go travelling for a year
finding myself, or start a career
could work for the poor, though i'm hungry for fame
we all seem so different but we're just the same
maybe i'll go to the gym so i don't get fat
aren't things more easy with a tight six pack
who knows the answers, who do you trust
i can't even separate love from lust
maybe i'll move back home and pay off my loans
working nine to five answering phones
but don't make me live for friday nights
drinking 8 pints and getting in fights
maybe i'll just fall in love
that could solve it all
philosophers say that that's enough
there surely must be more
love ain't the answer, nor is work
the truth eludes me so much it hurts
but i'm still having fun and that's the key
i'm a twentysomething and i'll keep being me...
music: songs for a new world
jamie cullum - twentysomething
after years of expensive education
a car full of books and anticipation
i'm an expert on Shakespeare and that's a hell of a lot
but the world don't need scholars as much as i thought
maybe i'll go travelling for a year
finding myself, or start a career
could work for the poor, though i'm hungry for fame
we all seem so different but we're just the same
maybe i'll go to the gym so i don't get fat
aren't things more easy with a tight six pack
who knows the answers, who do you trust
i can't even separate love from lust
maybe i'll move back home and pay off my loans
working nine to five answering phones
but don't make me live for friday nights
drinking 8 pints and getting in fights
maybe i'll just fall in love
that could solve it all
philosophers say that that's enough
there surely must be more
love ain't the answer, nor is work
the truth eludes me so much it hurts
but i'm still having fun and that's the key
i'm a twentysomething and i'll keep being me...
Saturday, January 29, 2005
mood: la da daaa da da daaaa da da daaaa
music: ben folds live
maybe a week of good songs lyrics is in order...
ben folds five - battle of who could care less
do you not hear me anymore
i know its not your thing to care
i know its cool to be so bored
but it sucks me in when you're aloof
it sucks me, it sucks it works
i guess its cool to be alone
will you never rest
fighting the battle of who could care less
every day you wake up late
sometimes i wish i was that way
and you think rockford files is cool
but there are some things that you would change
if it were up to you
so think about your masterpiece
watch the rockford files
call to see if paul can score some weed
will you never rest
fighting the battle of who could care less
unearned happiness
that's okay, i guess
i've got this great idea
what don't we pitch it to the franklin mint
fine pewter portraits of general apathy and major boredom
singing whatever and ever amen
oh well, maybe not - i'll try again
this should cheer you up for sure
see, i've got your old ID
and you're all dressed up like the cure
will you never rest
fighting the battle of who could care less
unearned happiness
you're my hero i confess...
music: ben folds live
maybe a week of good songs lyrics is in order...
ben folds five - battle of who could care less
do you not hear me anymore
i know its not your thing to care
i know its cool to be so bored
but it sucks me in when you're aloof
it sucks me, it sucks it works
i guess its cool to be alone
will you never rest
fighting the battle of who could care less
every day you wake up late
sometimes i wish i was that way
and you think rockford files is cool
but there are some things that you would change
if it were up to you
so think about your masterpiece
watch the rockford files
call to see if paul can score some weed
will you never rest
fighting the battle of who could care less
unearned happiness
that's okay, i guess
i've got this great idea
what don't we pitch it to the franklin mint
fine pewter portraits of general apathy and major boredom
singing whatever and ever amen
oh well, maybe not - i'll try again
this should cheer you up for sure
see, i've got your old ID
and you're all dressed up like the cure
will you never rest
fighting the battle of who could care less
unearned happiness
you're my hero i confess...
Monday, January 24, 2005
Friday, January 21, 2005
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
mood: nope, i'm not doing my homework tonight...bitches.
music: belle and sebastian - dear catastrophe waitress
so i'm laying in bed last night - fast asleep, dreaming about how cool i am when i hear the fire alarm go off. how strange i think to myself - this never happens in the uc housing...it must be legit. my first instincts were to get out of the building as fast as i possibly could so i didn't get held up by slow bitches in the stairwell and end up charbroilled. unfortunately, in my hurry i forgot to put on a coat or shoes or gloves or a scarf or a hat. so i'm wearing my pajamas and the bath robe i fell asleep in. the weather outside was 2 degrees with a windchill of -15ish. it was snowing heavily and the wind was blowing at like 30mph. also, i live on the lake which automatically equals a shit-tastic time when it gets so cold. and campus safety took 15 minutes to come and unlock the doors to crown so we could go inside once we evacuated the building. needless to say, last night can go straight to hell where it belongs. thank god lauren and meghan were there to hold me and keep me warm and andrew was around to act worried.
unfortunately someone has to die now. you know how it goes. doesn't much matter who. but someone's got to be sacrificed for that shitty shitty time i had. that's just the way it is. it's out of my hands really.
needless to say, last night can go straight to hell where it belongs...
music: belle and sebastian - dear catastrophe waitress
so i'm laying in bed last night - fast asleep, dreaming about how cool i am when i hear the fire alarm go off. how strange i think to myself - this never happens in the uc housing...it must be legit. my first instincts were to get out of the building as fast as i possibly could so i didn't get held up by slow bitches in the stairwell and end up charbroilled. unfortunately, in my hurry i forgot to put on a coat or shoes or gloves or a scarf or a hat. so i'm wearing my pajamas and the bath robe i fell asleep in. the weather outside was 2 degrees with a windchill of -15ish. it was snowing heavily and the wind was blowing at like 30mph. also, i live on the lake which automatically equals a shit-tastic time when it gets so cold. and campus safety took 15 minutes to come and unlock the doors to crown so we could go inside once we evacuated the building. needless to say, last night can go straight to hell where it belongs. thank god lauren and meghan were there to hold me and keep me warm and andrew was around to act worried.
unfortunately someone has to die now. you know how it goes. doesn't much matter who. but someone's got to be sacrificed for that shitty shitty time i had. that's just the way it is. it's out of my hands really.
needless to say, last night can go straight to hell where it belongs...
mood: hmm...
music: death cab for cutie - passenger seat
i watched the sunrise this morning. it was a strange katharsis. i'd been afraid to watch the sunrise here after seeing it day after day in france. afraid it wouldn't be as beautiful. but it was. and i found comfort in knowing that the simple things remain constant. waves on the lake still crash softly and soothe me to sleep. clear, starlit skies are still breathtaking. and sunrises still make me sigh a little. though i change - and i know i've changed a great deal during the past week - and my life changes, they stay the same. reminders of who i've been. reflections of who i have yet to be? i don't know. france was an incredibly beautiful and moving experience. my simple (though admittedly unnecessarily esoteric from time to time) grasp of the english language yields no words robust or graceful enough to describe it. i dare say that no words exist to do it justice. only still images in my mind. and i cannot paint pictures quite as beautiful. not yet at least...
music: death cab for cutie - passenger seat
i watched the sunrise this morning. it was a strange katharsis. i'd been afraid to watch the sunrise here after seeing it day after day in france. afraid it wouldn't be as beautiful. but it was. and i found comfort in knowing that the simple things remain constant. waves on the lake still crash softly and soothe me to sleep. clear, starlit skies are still breathtaking. and sunrises still make me sigh a little. though i change - and i know i've changed a great deal during the past week - and my life changes, they stay the same. reminders of who i've been. reflections of who i have yet to be? i don't know. france was an incredibly beautiful and moving experience. my simple (though admittedly unnecessarily esoteric from time to time) grasp of the english language yields no words robust or graceful enough to describe it. i dare say that no words exist to do it justice. only still images in my mind. and i cannot paint pictures quite as beautiful. not yet at least...
Monday, January 03, 2005
mood: restless
music: death cab for cutie - the sound of settling
you can expect a year in revue (yes, i'm completely copying you, rico) one of these days before i leave, but right now i truly don't have anything to type that's worth your reading. but since you clearly also have nothing better to do - here we are.
this is the 3rd day of the new year and the 4th day of my new year's resolution, which is to be bad. i think i can keep this one. it'll be tough, but i'll try. the thing is, i'm so behind in the whole teenage rebellion department. molly and i had a long talk about this. we were the biggest good girls in like a 3 mile radius. no drinking until senior year, and then not even very much. no sex. no drugs (except for the time she smoked up with allyson and they used bible paper to roll the joint - yeah that one's pretty bad). and barely any rock and roll. fucking forensics. it kept us busy friday and saturday night - no time to wander the streets as hapless slutty high schoolers. and by sunday we were so damn tired that we crashed. so now it's time to be wild. not STD and/or rufie wild, but most certainly naughty.
The Recap
New Year's Eve: seriously drunk as all shit. doing the "appropriate" things that must be done in order to acquire beads. and watching kk's lap dances was pretty racy in and of itself. but i didn't make out with anyone...you guys should REALLY be proud of me on that one. especially you, kelly...wink wink.
Day 1: midnight movive wearing lingerie under a suit coat with fishnets and stilettos - it was pretty damn hot. or cold as the case may have been.
Day 2: dancing on the bar at fox and hound, potentially kind of leading someone on - not my fault though.
Day 3: that's today. nothing so far. but it's only 8:30.
Day 4: we were supposed to party in lincoln at rico suave's place, and i intended to get pretty plastered. but there's a huge winter storm coming so that's a no go. the new mission is to get wasted and snowed in at the meisters' fine establishment.
Day 5: it's my last day in omaha so i intend to make it a good one.
Day 6: the welcome back extravaganza in chicago. between me and laurence (and perhaps a few others) this is bound to be my naughtiest experience yet.
Day 7: it's the day before i fly to france so i may keep it lowkey in order not to combine hangover with jetlag. at least, that's what i say now...
Day 8: flying to Taize. we can only buy one drink a day but there's always the hope that maybe we could sneak away to paris or lyon at night. though we'd go straight to hell for sure.
also, i found out that i got a B+ in my theology class and i didn't care at all. not at all. i know i sound like a bigger douchebag than rob jowdy, but i'm taking baby steps here. i've been good for damn near 20 years, i can't quite raise that much hell overnight. but i'm trying. i guarantee you, i'm trying.
well, cold and angry are falling from the sky, so i'm going to try and find some way to be completely irresponsible while not putting myself at any serious risk and only being indirectly responsible for any injuries or maladies suffered by those around me. goodtimes... cheers!
music: death cab for cutie - the sound of settling
you can expect a year in revue (yes, i'm completely copying you, rico) one of these days before i leave, but right now i truly don't have anything to type that's worth your reading. but since you clearly also have nothing better to do - here we are.
this is the 3rd day of the new year and the 4th day of my new year's resolution, which is to be bad. i think i can keep this one. it'll be tough, but i'll try. the thing is, i'm so behind in the whole teenage rebellion department. molly and i had a long talk about this. we were the biggest good girls in like a 3 mile radius. no drinking until senior year, and then not even very much. no sex. no drugs (except for the time she smoked up with allyson and they used bible paper to roll the joint - yeah that one's pretty bad). and barely any rock and roll. fucking forensics. it kept us busy friday and saturday night - no time to wander the streets as hapless slutty high schoolers. and by sunday we were so damn tired that we crashed. so now it's time to be wild. not STD and/or rufie wild, but most certainly naughty.
The Recap
New Year's Eve: seriously drunk as all shit. doing the "appropriate" things that must be done in order to acquire beads. and watching kk's lap dances was pretty racy in and of itself. but i didn't make out with anyone...you guys should REALLY be proud of me on that one. especially you, kelly...wink wink.
Day 1: midnight movive wearing lingerie under a suit coat with fishnets and stilettos - it was pretty damn hot. or cold as the case may have been.
Day 2: dancing on the bar at fox and hound, potentially kind of leading someone on - not my fault though.
Day 3: that's today. nothing so far. but it's only 8:30.
Day 4: we were supposed to party in lincoln at rico suave's place, and i intended to get pretty plastered. but there's a huge winter storm coming so that's a no go. the new mission is to get wasted and snowed in at the meisters' fine establishment.
Day 5: it's my last day in omaha so i intend to make it a good one.
Day 6: the welcome back extravaganza in chicago. between me and laurence (and perhaps a few others) this is bound to be my naughtiest experience yet.
Day 7: it's the day before i fly to france so i may keep it lowkey in order not to combine hangover with jetlag. at least, that's what i say now...
Day 8: flying to Taize. we can only buy one drink a day but there's always the hope that maybe we could sneak away to paris or lyon at night. though we'd go straight to hell for sure.
also, i found out that i got a B+ in my theology class and i didn't care at all. not at all. i know i sound like a bigger douchebag than rob jowdy, but i'm taking baby steps here. i've been good for damn near 20 years, i can't quite raise that much hell overnight. but i'm trying. i guarantee you, i'm trying.
well, cold and angry are falling from the sky, so i'm going to try and find some way to be completely irresponsible while not putting myself at any serious risk and only being indirectly responsible for any injuries or maladies suffered by those around me. goodtimes... cheers!
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