mood: bored
john mayer - neon

changed the title. i think this suits me better. get off my island was a reflection of who i was in high school, who i was in omaha. and i'm just not that person any more. it's not really a big deal i guess. just amusing that i would feel like i needed to rename something as silly as my blog in order for it to suit me. whatever.

life? right now i feel grounded, yet restless. happy, yet discontent. i realize that i am love with so many aspects of my life:

1. the godspell process that drives me crazy
2. the insane schedule i keep (41 hours of committment/week - not including homework, lab, sleep, eating, or miscellaneous things i have to do for those committments outside of meeting time)
3. the ridiculous courseload with which i burden myself
4. the overwhelming responsibilities i willingly take on without second thoughts
5. my incredibly frustrating chicago friends that i simply adore
6. the lofty plans i have for the near future (a summer in europe and whatnot)
7. my realization over christmas break that i never had A best friend in omaha - i had like 10
8. the new amazing people that have come into my life in the past couple of months
9. the one person in my life who constantly and consistently understands me (you probably know who you are. and if you don't, then i've let you down somewhere along the way by not telling you so)

and yet, there's this desire to get up and leave it all. talking to clayton the other day reminded how much i wanted to stay in france while i was there. i can't tell you how close i was to getting off of the bus in the middle of downtown lyon at 6 am with josh and just starting a new life. i know i sound ridiculous. but that's one of the most honest things i've said (or typed as the case may be) in the last year. so i guess i'm resigned to going back for the summer. until then, the little things are certainly nice to have around.

alright, playboy of the western world is just begging to be read. i concede playboy, i concede.


whatever and ever, amen.