mood: fuck
music: oasis - don't look back in anger

so sally can wait
she knows it's too late as she's walking on by
my soul slides away --

so concussions make time in your schedule for the following things: aqua teen hunger force, mind-fucking freshman, making detailed plans for future debauchery, getting behind on classwork, and philosophizing.

i don't have the presence of mind to use the "elite" vocabularly which is so characteristic of my standard philosophical blatherings, so i'll just get down to it. basically two different "groups" of people were supposed to come and visit me this weekend. both bailed on me. at first that was cool because my apt is already way too small for the four of us that live here without adding 4 more, it's messy like the dickens (and you KNOW how messy the DICKENS are!), and there's a great deal of drama going on within the walls of santa clara 4d. not to mention i was happy to have a completely open weekend and not to have to entertain people for 3-4 days. but then i realized that i had forgone a couple of really important things in order to accomodate this visit.

first of all, i didn't audition for les liaisons dangereuses - one of my top three favorite shows of all time - because i knew if i got in, we'd be too heavy into rehearsal for me to get away to be with them. now i don't know for sure that i would have been cast...but the point is i didn't even audition. i missed a perfect opportunity for an amazing process with one of the best (and one of my favorite) directors in our dept and in the country. i also dropped my practicum for the semester because i knew i'd have to work it till 6 on friday and then 10-5 on sat and sunday. this completely fucked up my plan to have practicums done by my senior year, and to keep this on track with my crazy schedule of credits and deferments i'll have to do 2 over a summer.

"but taria," you might say, "that's your own damn fault." i know. that's just it. i'm not mad at the particular people, as i understand that things just don't work out sometimes. i'm severely annoyed with myself for allowing things - on a hyperbolized scale - life...to pass me by. not that i don't love my pals dearly and wish i could have gotten the chance to see them since i haven't since early in the summer. i just feel like i should know better by now than to sacrifice on such a scale. where the hell was my sense of priorities? did someone take it (brrrrian!)?

and if so, could you please promptly return it as i am clearly in desperate need.

ah well. this is why we have periods of personal growth.

but don't look back in anger
don't look back in anger
i heard you say

at least not today...