mood: anxious
music: semisonic - closing time


in the midst of all of my angst and turmoil over what to do about this or that, i always seem to come across something so soothing - some memory so lovely that it seems to make everything okay. at least temporarily. i was clearing off the bookshelf i want to take back to chicago with me when i came across a dusty stack of little pink papers. i was so stunned - i had forgotten all about them.

junior year of high school i had a singles only valentine's day party. it was an incredible time. it was really the only time i had a sizeable shindig at my house and exceptionally good times were had by all. [random memory for all those who were there: the sign on my front door, "no guitars allowed beyond this point" with chang as the bouncer...so good]

so in the wee hours after the drollery of the evening had ended i saw everyone out and suffered through post party clean up. when i finally got back upstairs to my room i was incredibly exhausted, so the surprise i found shocked me that much more. there were little pink hearts literally covering my walls. and they all had the sweetest notes and inside jokes written all over them. i was floored. it was so amazing. i couldn't even believe it - and i had no idea who had done it. i eventually found out that adam rowings and andy kerkhoff had snuck into my room and put them up during the party. how adorable is that? to this day, it is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. and the best part about it was finding more and more of them in ALL [read=even underwear] of my drawers for the next few days.

to find those little hearts reminded me how wonderful it is to have amazing people who do care about me and who will, from time to time, blow me away with their gestures of love. it was lovely. it was exactly what i needed to find in a time like this. and it inspired me to start a little book of my favorite memories - just something that i can dig out whenever i get - the way i get - and remind myself of just how lucky this girl truly is.




in other news, it's my last night in the westO. off to the family compound in IL tomorrow to get some r&r with the rest of the fam. then i make my triumphant return to the ropa on saturday or sunday. i can't f-ing wait. i'm ready for this - ready for everything the next few months have to throw at me [and i have a feeling it's a lot].

it's like i've been holding my breath and i'm about to be able to breathe again. smoggy, polluted, dirty air - but that's just the way i like it.


closing time
open all the doors
and let you out into the world...