^Aloha...

^Happy Halloween to all of you humans out there. To any of you that are dead or non-dead or the living dead or what have you, congrats on having a day in your honor. Though what a stupid holiday it is. Maybe it's just me, but October 31 brings me no excitement whatsoever. When I tell people this, a conversation tends to take place that runs a little something like this (these are all actual examples):

#1
Me: "Halloween brings me no excitement whatsoever."
Person A:"Why not?"
"It's a worthless holiday."
"That's why it's so great!"
"I don't know. Halloween just doesn't fit into my intellectual outlook right now."
"You see, that was funny. When else can you get free candy."
"Whenever you want it."
"What? You'd have to buy it. Yeah, you paid for some free candy. That's no fun."
"But if your parents buy it, and you eat it. It was free for you."
"Yeah, but then you can't put it in a pillow case."
"Yes you can. You can go upstairs to the linen closet, take one out, go downstairs, fill it with the candy your parents bought, and enjoy."
"Well...maybe /you/ can...but..."
"No, everyone can. If you have two working hands and a pillow case, then you can."
"You're no fun."

#2
Me: "No, really. Halloween just doesn't fit into my...being."
Person D: "Whatever. Free candy fits into everyone's being."

^So, as you can see, I am defeated on this topic. Or am I? It's butt-f**king cold outside. This has caused an unusually small number of small candy-gatherers to ring my doorbell. In fact, only about 5 groups have come to the door. Now, my mother always buys extra candy just in case. But without the small heathen-people in costumes to give it to, that means it becomes a donation to the "I Like Candy - Give It Here" fund. Which means I get a hell of a lot of candy. So I guess I am the winner here.

Excellent. Just how I like it.

^That is all. Thank you.