^Aloha...Grandma's food...oh jesus!

^grumble. can't sleep any more. someone called at 8:30 this morning and hung up when i answered. fuck that shit. don't people know that they should NEVER make phone calls before noon? especially to a college student...so now i am annoyed, and will make you annoyed by continuing to type without propper use of capitalization. sorry, that's just the way it's got to be.

^as you well-know, i have been much of the emotional persuasion lately. i did a little snooping and found a little something from american beauty that i thought kind of summed it all up:

...There's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I fee like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...and then I remember to relax, stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude...

^maybe it's because of this whole ian business, or because of all that's been going on in the show (or lack thereof at this point, it being over and all), or because it's the end of the semester, or because i'm just still a little delirious from being sick, but i've got that strange feeling again. no, mary, not THAT one...that got all cleared up...wink, wink...but from time to time i feel like i'm full of something and that i'm on the verge of it all just exploding from me. i know that sounds less than brill and perhaps slightly like a made for tv movie, but i honestly can't describe it any other way. and to top things off, i've been listening to colorblind (counting crows) so you KNOW it must be bad.

^there's so much more i want to talk about...real things that happened and whatnot, but classes await me...i will (of course) leave you with more lyrics.

i am colorblind
coffee black and egg white
pull me out from inside
i am ready
i am ready
i am ready
i am taffy stuck and tongue tied
studder shook and uptight
pull me out from inside
i am ready
i am ready
i am ready
i am fine
i am covered in skin
no one gets to come in
pull me out from inside
i am folded amd unfolded and unfolding
i am colorblind
coffee black and egg white
pull me out from inside
i am ready
i am ready
i am ready
i am fine...